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Manderz Musings: Day 18

Manderz Musings


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Day 18

Sometimes it is so easy to let yourself be overcome by negativity. And even if you surmount the negativity monotony is close behind it. Sometimes positivity can be near impossible to find.

There was a time in my life when I was super optimistic. I could find the silver lining in anything. I always had energy to spare.

Something changed that though. I don't know what. Now it's like the exact opposite. I feel like I'm sitting on the sidelines watching the happy people frolick about. And the greatest difficulty about getting out of a negative mindset is convincing yourself to stick with it. Your mind is working against you working to rewire it.

With this mindset I'm dealing with, I find a lot of past issues resurfacing. Things like body image and self esteem and time management. Issues I had believed were water under the bridge. To see them coming back is disheartening.

Deep, deep inside I know I can get through this. Cast the negativity aside. Embrace the light once again. But the willpower to accomplish it is not there. Yet. It will one day. Hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, I intend to find little positives. Here and there. Wherever and whenever I'm able.

I shall start with a cuddle with my Jay and some sleep.



At November 20, 2009 at 3:32 PM , Anonymous Susan said...

You can do it! It is about finding the little silver linings of everyday- like you've pledged to do. The other day I saw an 80 year old man in the hospital and even though he had all these medical problems he said he was doing well becauase "what's the point of being down there? I'm 80 years old!"...I am trying to think of this amazing man every time things get me down now.

At November 22, 2009 at 1:38 PM , Blogger Steveo said...

No Mandy! You were always the one giving me the "upper speech". How the world must have changed if you're a downer now... I could make a fool of myself via video if it'd help


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