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A Mini Hodgepodge

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Manderz Musings: A Mini Hodgepodge

Manderz Musings

Live.Laugh.Love

Saturday, November 21, 2009

A Mini Hodgepodge

An Intro
Sometimes, when I'm doing mundane tasks, rather than staying present, I tend to think out entire paragraphs to post to my blog.  Most never get written down, and go to the Land of Wasted and Lost Thoughts.

Today though, I am procrastinating.  So instead of working on my assignment, I am sitting down to write a draft of my most recent mind blogs.


A Bit About Me
I am not a passionate person.  Never have been, doubt I ever will be.  If I like something, "like" is an adequate term.  All those fancy words that other people use, for me, they are all interchangeable with "like".  This is directly related to motivation and staying power.

I am readily bored.  Something new and exciting does not stay that way for long.  If something catches my attention, I will go at whole-heartedly for a while.  One day though, I will decide I have had enough. It will fall to the wayside.  I don't always know why I have lost interest.  Other times, the challenge is no longer there.  I am great at starting projects, but I almost never finish them.  This happens with sports, and work, and school, and everything really.

I dislike children.  Don't get me wrong, some of them are adorable, and say cute things, and act all sweet like.  But even then, I like them best from a distance.  I am not the type to make a fool of myself for a kid's amusement.  Unless I am drunk.  Just saying.  If there is an annoying kid nearby, I get annoyed.  Very quickly.  Jason wants a family one day.  Me, not so much.  I would much rather be selfish and hoard my money for myself and my adventures.  I don't see the benefit of dedicating 18+ years of my time and money to a little brat.  Added to that, I have very little patience.  I still enjoy reading about other people's kids and families.  It's just not something I want for myself.

I absolutely hate getting in trouble.  Even the slightest reprimand can ruin my day.  When I think about my childhood, the memories that often pop up first are those where I got in trouble.  That's how much it affects me.  I am definitely too much of a perfectionist.

I grew up as a straight-A student.  It was expected of me.  By me, my parents, my peers, my teachers.  Everyone it seemed.  I am lucky, I never really had to work at it.  Learning came naturally, and easily.  I rarely studied - I simply did a quick review before a test or finals.  I enjoyed school, and sometimes I even enjoyed my homework.  Post-secondary is proving to be a very different experience for me though.  A lot of it has to do with a lack of motivation.  I am no longer one of the "smart ones".  I am simply mediocre.  Everyone around me was also a straight-A student.  The competition got too fierce, and I dropped out.  (Literally.  Twice.)  Even my third attempt at it is proving difficult.  An 85% on a midterm made me think of myself as a failure.  Old habits die hard.  And yet, I give up the easiest of marks - not attending all the lectures, not completing all the assignments.    This semester has been a constant struggle to stay motivated.  To just get through it.  I've adopted a new mantra in hopes it will help "C's get degrees."  Some people will probably say I'm selling myself short.  But for me, just getting through the courses will get me farther than attempting to ace them, and giving up entirely when I don't.

I have this addiction to spending money.  It doesn't even matter on what.  I get as much a rush from buying groceries as buying shoes.  It's not out of control, I've stayed out of debt.  But I struggle with saving money.  I've tried so many different things to change that, but I keep spending what I've saved.

I am a hoarder.  It's not out of control.  I do know how to purge.  And I do on a semi-regular basis.  But it's a struggle to not keep the stuff in the first place.  I always think I will need it for something.  So that means I need to find a home for it for about a year until I realize I haven't actually needed it.  I also feel guilty if I spend money on something.  If I get rid of it, it's like throwing money down the drain.  I don't consider myself materialistic, but I realize more and more everyday that I might just be lying to myself.

Disqus
I have seen this application (?) on a few different blogs now.  It's a reinvention of the comment, enabling actual conversations.  Probably not something I really need.  But I like that I can now respond to comments directly.  Be a bit more involved.

What are your thoughts on it?


Blogroll
I explored the blogging world a bit today.  And in recent weeks.  Today I finally got around to updating my Blogroll.  The majority of the blogs are the same, but there are some new ones now.  This time, only a couple were cut, and those merely for lack of updates.  Anyways, I suggest giving it a quick look if you have some time to spare.