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Manderz Musings: December 2009

Manderz Musings


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Thoughts for Brandy

I firmly believe in the power of a thought.  And right now, there's a fellow blogger that could really use a thought.  Do you have one or two to spare?

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Christmas, Life and Adorableness

I found Christmas to be rather depressing this year.  The blame is squarely on my shoulders, which I fully accept.  My expectations were high - which I failed to admit to myself, and verbalize to Jason.  How I dealt with it was pitiful - I stayed up until 4 am Christmas Eve (err, Christmas Day) reading (aka escaping my drab thoughts).  Then I slept from about 12 pm to 6 pm on Christmas.  Avoidance?  Very much so.  Boxing Day I slept in, and procrastinated cleaning the house until the last minute.  But dinner turned out to be quite enjoyable, and I forgot to be grouchy.

The New Year is going to be interesting.  I've got a lot of plans, and I'm ready to put them into motion.  Some plans have fallen through already (ie. completing my 101 Goals in 1,001 Days list).  Others are looking very promising.  All of my plans revolve around dumping this increasingly depressed aura I've been carrying around lately.  I'm ready to be the overly optimistic, easily amused, energetic person I once was.  Any and all support from you is going to be greatly appreciated.

I have to admit, I completely understand why everyone calls it a 'Crackberry'.  My Blackberry goes with me everywhere.  Switching from the Pearl Flip to the Tour was well worth the additional price.  The full QWERTY keyboard really makes all the difference to me.  I don't need a planner or notebook in my purse anymore, and my camera is only pulled out for special occasions now.  My 'berry just emits convenience; I use it more than the computer for many tasks.  Facebook.  Twitter.  E-mail.  Uploading pictures.  Writing blog posts.  Google Reader (I can't comment though, which annoys me to no end).  If they would let me do my banking from my phone, I totally would.

I would like to take a moment and be completely narcissistic.  This is a huge accomplishment for me, and therefore worth sharing.  Ready for it?  I got a GPA of 4.0 this past semester.  Straight A's.  After a semester passed a) regretting taking on 3 classes while working full-time, b) struggling with motivation, c) finally accepting that a "B" or even a "C" would still be a completely acceptable mark, d) suppressing guilt for skipping yet another class to catch up on some much-needed R+R, e) and numerous other obstacles.  I was utterly flabbergasted when I found out.  Now, I just hope all my courses will transfer to my "new school".  I'm transferring from evening classes at the local college to self-directed study through a university.  It means more flexibility with my schedule so I can be a better mother to my pups, and time to go to the gym and start yoga classes again.  Transferring also means a program that is accounting specific rather than a mix of business administration and accounting.  Perhaps not as helpful in the short-term job market, but definitely better in the long-run.

For anyone who isn't already aware the 2010 Bootlegger Finalists have been posted on 20SB, and voting has begun.  If you haven't voted yet, you should.  Because there's some awesome people nominated.  My mind is spinning with the choices.  I'm also discovering new blogs in the process.

Now,  I will leave you with some pictures of my pups.  They're just so adorable, and make my heart melt.

Just look at those puppy eyes

He just wanted to get close

Nothing like a down dog and yawn - simultaneously

Gizmo wedged himself in, and then wouldn't move

Loving the treadmill

Learning to co-operate with my constant picture-taking

Curled up with Mom

He does have a habit of finding tiny spaces

Making my heart melt all over again
(PS Don't you just love my pj pants?)

Friday, December 18, 2009

Pups and Pillows

My nose is all congested, and I've been laying on the couch all night. The boys are keeping me company.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

An 'In the Meantime' Post

As I write this post I lay in bed, with my pups cuddled beside me. Jay's laptop is on the floor - sometimes the smaller screen of my Blackberry is more appealing. This is not the post I had promised; I have yet to upload the pictures.

Today was a rough day. I woke up feeling blah: sore throat, achy joints, and a headache. All I wanted was to crawl back in bed. But I didn't, and the body felt a bit better as the day progressed. Now, as I try to relax, all the aches and pains are coming back. My peppermint tea tastes good, but soothes little.

I know this is my body's way of telling me I am not treating it well. That it wants breakfast, and balanced meals, and exercise. That perhaps change is necessary before I feel mentally prepared. 2010 is close, but not close enough. My body is tolerant, so very tolerant, of all the junk I eat, the irregular exercise, the abuse from stress. There are limits, and I need to respect them. To give back for a change.

I walked on the treadmill tonight for 10 minutes. Tomorrow I can try for 15. Having the pups beside makes it more enjoyable. I know, the amount is negligible to most, but its 10 minutes more than yesterday. And the days before that. Sometimes I wonder how I let myself go this much, and yet it was so simple. Getting started again is the hard part.

Dexter decided to make a wet spot on Jay's side of the bed. By licking. It's a struggle not to find it amusing. Gizmo walked onto the treadmill tonight without being asked, then proceeded to do all 35 minutes without a leash. I think someone enjoys it. Dexter, not so much. But he does tolerate it. The cold weather doesn't seem to bother them - they continue to race all over the backyard. I on the other hand stay inside as much as possible right now. It's supposed to warm up to -20C by this weekend though.

*What do you enjoy doing most when cold weather hits?*


Thursday, December 10, 2009

Patience Please

I promise I have not forgotten about you.  Really, I haven't.

I have a post all planned out.  Including pictures.  I just need the time to do it (and you) justice.  Perhaps this weekend.  My time lately has been filled with the final weeks of school and exams.  And freezing cold temperatures like many other people can probably relate.

Now I must wrap a present for an exchange at work tomorrow.  And then it's off to sleep.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Christmas Sweaters

Aren't they just adorable?!