Manderz Musings

formspring.me

2010-02-16T11:28:00.001-07:00

Do you think you're old enough to be engaged?!? Clearly my punctuation belies my POV, but... really, I'm interested in knowing more.

I think one important thing to know about me that plays a huge role is that I've always been mature for my age. It's something I grew up hearing from parents, teachers, therapists, etc. Granted, maturity doesn't equal experience, but it certainly affects the mind set.

I recognize that a marriage takes work. That it won't always be easy, and that we will fight. We're working our way out of a rough patch right now. That's the key though, "we". There is no rush for us to get married. Being engaged really is a stage in the relationship all on its own. The reality starts to sink in a bit more. For me, divorce is not an option. When we get married, it is a lifetime commitment. No matter what life throws our way.

Deep inside, I know this is the man I want to spend my life with. Looking ahead, he is a part of everything I see. We have woven our lives and goals together, and it just works. There is no pretending, we can act natural around each other. And trust me, it takes a special man to fully accept some of the things I do/say. My feelings for him are unlike anything I have ever felt for anyone.

At the end of the day, age is nothing more than a number. In spite of the 5 years between us, we are on the same page. I know that other people disagree, and I won't tell anyone they shouldn't be concerned - but ultimately this is mine and Jason's life.

Ask me anything

Sorry

2010-01-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

I'm being a pain, I know. I bought a domain, so my blog is moving to manderzmusings.com

If you're on the site, it should redirect automatically.

If you're following the feed, please update it to: http://manderzmusings.com/feed/

Sorry for the hassle!!

In Review...or A Bit of History

2010-01-01T00:06:00.001-07:00

I've seen many other bloggers reviewing the past decade. Just the other day, I was talking with a friend about how this is the first decade I'll actually completely remember. As I sit here, alone (by choice), on New Years Eve, I think it is the perfect time to reminisce. To review the lessons learned. To see how much I've changed. To let go of the past, and embrace the new year.

2000
I entered the new decade (and millennium) 11 years old, and loving grade 6. It was a great year of school - I had my all-time favourite teacher and I was the tallest student in the school. My family moved into a new house. In soccer, I was dipping my feet into being a goalie. I remember hitting my head on the goal post diving for the ball, and being so proud that I made the save. Summer left me with memories of camping with my family and friends. That fall I entered junior high and french immersion. I met a lot of great people, struggled to learn in a new language, and surpassed many people's expectations. Playing on the junior basketball team was fun, and I got an award for "Best Defenseman".

2001
The most important occurrence of 2001 by far is I went on a snowboard trip with school. I spent the entire day side-slipping down a black run since I couldn't get up the T-bar. I fell in love. This year brought with it my very first boyfriend. It was a month filled with holding hands, hugs and long phone conversations. The relationship ended because I wouldn't kiss him. I played on the school badminton team and still loved being a soccer goalie. That fall I made the school senior volleyball team and junior basketball team. My Grade 8 homeroom teacher barely spoke English, so my French improved drastically. I started my first job at the public library shelving books in December.

2002
There was a teacher strike early in the year, so we had about a month off of school. I had my first kiss, and there was absolutely nothing romantic about it. The boy does not remember this at all now. An acquaintance from my gym class started to work at the library. She became my best friend. This year Jill taught me all about fencing, British humour and how to walk extremely quickly. The outdoor soccer season was a great one. I loved being a goalie, and was showing my talent (if I do say so myself). Grade 9 started that fall; it was a year of experimentation with clothes, hair, make-up and everything else that went with being "popular". I really dislike the person I allowed myself to become this year. In the fall I played in a recreational volleyball league and had one of the most enjoyable sport seasons ever. I also made the senior basketball team, and worked my butt into fine shape.

2003
This was the end of junior high. In shop class I discovered drafting, and made a safety video where we had a near-disastrous accident while filming. It was a blast, and I still have the video. I went to Grade 9 Grad with my friend Malyssa as a date. We became really close that summer, and when high school started in the fall I would walk over to her house at 6:30am so that I could get ready at her house. I made the decision to quit soccer and try lacrosse instead. That summer I did a volleyball bootcamp, and discovered I wasn't as talented as I believed. Grade 10 brought lots of new people into my life. In the winter I joined a freestyle snowboard club, and had a blast falling and learning.

2004
I turned 16. I'm pretty sure Jill took me to M.A.C. for my first make-over, then we went back to her house for a sleepover. The summer was crazy. Jill and I went to the gym 3 times a week, and got super in-shape and toned. We totally ruled the library. I got a summer job at Little Caesars. At the end of summer, I got a job Chapters and quit the library. In hind-sight, I should've just stayed. I transferred to a new high school for Grade 11. It was a self-study school, and I wanted to take extra courses. It meant dropping out of french immersion. I made the senior volleyball team, and then quit a month later when I never got played. Self-study was a huge fail on my part, but I met Steve who is one of the few people from high school I still see on a regular basis. That Christmas, my mom told the manager at Chapters I was quitting. This amuses me now. I joined a new snowboard club, Riders on Board, and met some awesome new boarders.

2005
I transferred back to my original high school for second semester. My motivation towards school began to wane, and my grades slowly dipped. A couple weeks after my 17th birthday I got my driver's license. My parents let me drive myself to work. I was working back at the library, and was one of the "senior" pages. I began to lose interest in lacrosse, but still loved snowboarding. Grade 12 involved a lot of relationship drama. I got into a semi-serious relationship with a boy, and developed a friendship with Kaylee on the bus rides home. My snowboarding "career" took a leap forward as I got Karine as a coach. She really helped push my skills to the next level.

2006
I turned 18, and got 5th place out of 50 girls in a snowboard competition the next day. My first (and only) finalist finish and my parents were watching. The boy kissed another girl, broke up with me, and then cried for a week until I took him back. We went to grad together, and while it wasn't a bad experience, I definitely wish I'd made some different choices. I graduated with Honours. Barely. Summer came, I got a job at Claire's and at another library. I finally broke it off with the boy. My parents found a car for me after 10 months of searching. A girl from work took me to the club for the first time, and I was a nervous nerd. Some friends introduced me to a "bad boy". I was hooked. It was a rollercoaster ride, and no one else liked him. I got multiple piercings and two tattoos this year.

2007
The 2006-2007 snowboard season was THE best. I was riding with an awesome group of girls. We pushed each other, and laughed, and were just all-around stoked on shredding. I sent an audition-video in for Canada's Next Top Model. The video is here, and is too hilarious (and embarrassing) not to watch. I got a call-back, and spent 10 minutes talking to a producer and model agent in a bikini and heels while being filmed. Then I had to strut my stuff. I didn't make it on the show, but I had a blast. My friend Kim named my car Putt-Putt. I got my "Live.Laugh.Love" tattoo at the end of summer. My mom told me to take up scrapbooking instead of getting inked. That Fall I went to the University of Calgary, and took a random mix of classes. The goal was to get a Bachelor of Communication and Culture with a minor in Architectural Studies then go on to get a Masters of Architecture. I lost motivation, and dropped out of 3 of 5 classes. At this time, I decided to try out Lavalife. I met Jason.

2008
Obviously, I did not continue with University. I worked a few different temp jobs, then went back to the library to work at the check-out desk. My snowboarding was going quite well, my coaches thought I should try competing at the national level and my club offered me the chance to try for a bursary. I decided I wasn't committed enough to the sport, and my interest declined rapidly after that. Story of my life: giving up when it stops being easy and starts taking effort. I went to San Diego with Jason and another couple that summer. My first trip outside of Canada. Surfing was amazing. We went to Disneyland, and I was a grumpy-pants the entire day. I get like that when I don't get enough sleep. In the fall, Jason got a job in Fort McMurray. I went back to school, SAIT, and took Architectural Technologies. I enjoyed my classes, but decided it's not what I wanted to do as a career. I slacked off, and decided to move up to Fort McMurray. Jason came home for Christmas, I packed my car, and we took off. I arrived on December 28th.

2009
I got a job as a receptionist at a dental clinic, and Jason and I moved into a 2-bedroom basement suite. I became friends with the girls at work, and some people from Jason's work. Life in Fort McMurray was enjoyable. We started house hunting, and finally found something we liked in our price range. April 1st we got possession and had a pizza party on the living room carpet. Jason proposed. We ripped out the carpet and linoleum, and Jason put in bamboo hardwood. Both our parents came to visit during the summer. On August 1st we adopoted Dexter and Gizmo from the SPCA. In September, I started evening courses in a Business Administration and Accounting program. Working at the dental office became too stressful, and I got a new reception job. Somewhere during all of this I became depressed. I finished the school year with amazing marks, and came up with a plan to become happy again.

What was your favourite memory from the past decade?

Thoughts for Brandy

2009-12-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe in the power of a thought. And right now, there's a fellow blogger that could really use a thought. Do you have one or two to spare?

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Christmas, Life and Adorableness

2009-12-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

I found Christmas to be rather depressing this year. The blame is squarely on my shoulders, which I fully accept. My expectations were high - which I failed to admit to myself, and verbalize to Jason. How I dealt with it was pitiful - I stayed up until 4 am Christmas Eve (err, Christmas Day) reading (aka escaping my drab thoughts). Then I slept from about 12 pm to 6 pm on Christmas. Avoidance? Very much so. Boxing Day I slept in, and procrastinated cleaning the house until the last minute. But dinner turned out to be quite enjoyable, and I forgot to be grouchy.

The New Year is going to be interesting. I've got a lot of plans, and I'm ready to put them into motion. Some plans have fallen through already (ie. completing my 101 Goals in 1,001 Days list). Others are looking very promising. All of my plans revolve around dumping this increasingly depressed aura I've been carrying around lately. I'm ready to be the overly optimistic, easily amused, energetic person I once was. Any and all support from you is going to be greatly appreciated.

I have to admit, I completely understand why everyone calls it a 'Crackberry'. My Blackberry goes with me everywhere. Switching from the Pearl Flip to the Tour was well worth the additional price. The full QWERTY keyboard really makes all the difference to me. I don't need a planner or notebook in my purse anymore, and my camera is only pulled out for special occasions now. My 'berry just emits convenience; I use it more than the computer for many tasks. Facebook. Twitter. E-mail. Uploading pictures. Writing blog posts. Google Reader (I can't comment though, which annoys me to no end). If they would let me do my banking from my phone, I totally would.

I would like to take a moment and be completely narcissistic. This is a huge accomplishment for me, and therefore worth sharing. Ready for it? I got a GPA of 4.0 this past semester. Straight A's. After a semester passed a) regretting taking on 3 classes while working full-time, b) struggling with motivation, c) finally accepting that a "B" or even a "C" would still be a completely acceptable mark, d) suppressing guilt for skipping yet another class to catch up on some much-needed R+R, e) and numerous other obstacles. I was utterly flabbergasted when I found out. Now, I just hope all my courses will transfer to my "new school". I'm transferring from evening classes at the local college to self-directed study through a university. It means more flexibility with my schedule so I can be a better mother to my pups, and time to go to the gym and start yoga classes again. Transferring also means a program that is accounting specific rather than a mix of business administration and accounting. Perhaps not as helpful in the short-term job market, but definitely better in the long-run.

For anyone who isn't already aware the 2010 Bootlegger Finalists have been posted on 20SB, and voting has begun. If you haven't voted yet, you should. Because there's some awesome people nominated. My mind is spinning with the choices. I'm also discovering new blogs in the process.

Now, I will leave you with some pictures of my pups. They're just so adorable, and make my heart melt.

Just look at those puppy eyes

He just wanted to get close

Nothing like a down dog and yawn - simultaneously

Gizmo wedged himself in, and then wouldn't move

Loving the treadmill

Learning to co-operate with my constant picture-taking

Curled up with Mom

He does have a habit of finding tiny spaces

Making my heart melt all over again

(PS Don't you just love my pj pants?)

Pups and Pillows

2009-12-18T22:38:00.001-07:00

My nose is all congested, and I've been laying on the couch all night. The boys are keeping me company.

~Manderz~

An 'In the Meantime' Post

2009-12-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

As I write this post I lay in bed, with my pups cuddled beside me. Jay's laptop is on the floor - sometimes the smaller screen of my Blackberry is more appealing. This is not the post I had promised; I have yet to upload the pictures.

Today was a rough day. I woke up feeling blah: sore throat, achy joints, and a headache. All I wanted was to crawl back in bed. But I didn't, and the body felt a bit better as the day progressed. Now, as I try to relax, all the aches and pains are coming back. My peppermint tea tastes good, but soothes little.

I know this is my body's way of telling me I am not treating it well. That it wants breakfast, and balanced meals, and exercise. That perhaps change is necessary before I feel mentally prepared. 2010 is close, but not close enough. My body is tolerant, so very tolerant, of all the junk I eat, the irregular exercise, the abuse from stress. There are limits, and I need to respect them. To give back for a change.

I walked on the treadmill tonight for 10 minutes. Tomorrow I can try for 15. Having the pups beside makes it more enjoyable. I know, the amount is negligible to most, but its 10 minutes more than yesterday. And the days before that. Sometimes I wonder how I let myself go this much, and yet it was so simple. Getting started again is the hard part.

Dexter decided to make a wet spot on Jay's side of the bed. By licking. It's a struggle not to find it amusing. Gizmo walked onto the treadmill tonight without being asked, then proceeded to do all 35 minutes without a leash. I think someone enjoys it. Dexter, not so much. But he does tolerate it. The cold weather doesn't seem to bother them - they continue to race all over the backyard. I on the other hand stay inside as much as possible right now. It's supposed to warm up to -20C by this weekend though.

*What do you enjoy doing most when cold weather hits?*

~Manderz~

Patience Please

2009-12-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

I promise I have not forgotten about you. Really, I haven't.

I have a post all planned out. Including pictures. I just need the time to do it (and you) justice. Perhaps this weekend. My time lately has been filled with the final weeks of school and exams. And freezing cold temperatures like many other people can probably relate.

Now I must wrap a present for an exchange at work tomorrow. And then it's off to sleep.

Christmas Sweaters

2009-12-01T07:53:00.001-07:00

Aren't they just adorable?!

C'est Fini!

2009-11-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

After this post, NaBloPoMo is over. This is post #29 this month. I can't say many of those were overly inspired posts, but this is a start. Next year, I can set my sights a little bit higher.

My new phone came today! A Blackberry Tour, which already is a huge step up from the Pearl Flip I had before. It took some time to get my computer connecting with it correctly, but (all thanks to Jill's recommendation) I was able to sync all of the data from the old to the new. Without Telus' stupid $25 fee. I mean, really? That much?

Tomorrow afternoon I leave on my very first business trip. A quick flight to Edmonton, an overnight stay (which will be spent working on a school assignment), a day of training, and then a quick flight back home. All taking place in slightly over 24 hours. It seems a tad bit expensive for only a day of training, but that's just me.

Almost Made It

2009-11-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

I missed posting yesterday. I kept reminding myself to post early in the day, but I pushed it off until it was too late. The thing is, even though I technically won't complete NaBloPoMo, I am very happy with how well I did. 29 posts in 30 days is still something to be proud of.

Jason is going out of town this week. I always miss him terribly, even though we did a 6-week stretch apart when he first moved to Fort McMurray. He's such a huge part of my life up here though. Hopefully studying for finals will help keep me occupied.

Day 27

2009-11-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

NaBloPoMo is nearing to a close. In some ways I'm happy, in other ways I'm sad. As much as blogging daily has been a mostly enjoyable challenge, I will most likely reduce my posts. Perhaps I can commit to writing some posts of length.

I am currently researching ethical gifts. It's something I've thought about the past couple of years, but I'm thinking this might be the year I finally take the plunge. Does anyone have any recommendations or favourites of their own?

Day 26

2009-11-26T22:54:00.001-07:00

I was very tired today. The late nights finally caught up with me. So after work, I came home and went straight to bed. That always makes for a good night.

When I have "naps", I tend to have the weirdest dreams. Tonight I was dreaming about spreadsheets to keep track of networking contacts. Perhaps my brain is telling me to stop focusing on both so much?

In other news, I'm going on an overnight business trip next week. Just to Edmonton, but it will be my first time traveling alone. I've only flown by myself once. This could get interesting as I can get a bit paranoid about the details. It will definitely be a good experience for me.

What was your first time traveling alone like?

~Manderz~

Just a Few Thoughts

2009-11-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

I had an AMAZING day today.

Sometimes it’s the simple things that make you happy. Like lime coconut hand lotion.

An epic quote from my presentation last night: “We’re going to take their money and send them away.” I’m quite proud of myself for thinking of that on the spot.

www.offsetters.ca

I say “Thank you” to the majority of the people on the phone at work. I don’t really know what else to say in closing that’s professional.

Our office Christmas party is on Saturday. I bought my outfit tonight. Here's a preview...the shoes:

And It's Over

2009-11-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight we presented our computer assignment. It went much better than expected. The teacher even approached our group after class and told us we had a great idea. All in all though, I'm happy it's over. I have a final assignment to do over the next week, and then the class is done.

While attempting to trim Gizmo's paw hair tonight , I kept jabbing myself with the tips of the scissors. Sometimes I'm just a klutz. But now my thumb is throbbing with that painful itch. Please just go away.

I'm working on some ideas to make life a bit less stressful next semester. Nothing is official yet, but I will keep you posted. For now, I can tell you there's a light at the end of this tunnel I seem to be in.

Today was a good day, and I'm feeling in really good spirits. I even laughed at some of the jokes made by Jay Leno. And that NEVER happens.

I just wanted to apologize if you're having trouble commenting since I've started using Disqus. You don't need to log on, or create an account. All it needs is your name and an email address (which doesn't get posted!). I highly recommend creating a Disqus account though - you can keep track of all your comments, and receive notification if someone replies to something you left. It's all about creating a community.

Day 23

2009-11-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today was rather uneventful. So uneventful in fact, that the most exciting part was going grocery shopping with Jason. I'm looking forward to not having to eat soup the rest of the week, as I've been relying on that for lunch basically since I started the new job. I bought some seafood dip which is just delicious. Especially when I pair it with some sesame rice crackers. Yum-my! I'm slowly attempting to integrate some healthier options into my daily meals. And I should clarify by saying "healthier to me", as Jason still looks at my food like it is junk. But apples are fruit, lettuce is a veggie, and I've just upped my daily intake in that category by at least a full serving. I'm proud.

Tomorrow my computer assignment is due. I can't wait for it to be over with, so I can move on.

For now though, it is bedtime for me and the pups. 6 a.m. comes much too quickly for a night owl like me.

Finally, Some Pictures

2009-11-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very quick on the uptake as far as uploading pictures like everyone requested. But yesterday I remembered my camera when I was out playing in the snow with the fuzzybutts.

If you're interested, I uploaded a large chunk of the pictures from our San Diego trip (3 months ago!) to Flickr. Click here to check it out!

This is what happens when you leave your shoes on the deck when you go inside to grab your camera.

Gizmo

Dexter

Rough-housing like usual

Kisses!

Gizmo is trying to eat the watering can.

Gizmo has the ball and Dexter wants it.

Dexter got the ball

Gizmo playing with the ball

He likes to use his nose to throw snow around

Bounding through the snow

Inside...don't you love our rug?!

A Mini Hodgepodge

2009-11-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

An Intro
Sometimes, when I'm doing mundane tasks, rather than staying present, I tend to think out entire paragraphs to post to my blog. Most never get written down, and go to the Land of Wasted and Lost Thoughts.

Today though, I am procrastinating. So instead of working on my assignment, I am sitting down to write a draft of my most recent mind blogs.

A Bit About Me
I am not a passionate person. Never have been, doubt I ever will be. If I like something, "like" is an adequate term. All those fancy words that other people use, for me, they are all interchangeable with "like". This is directly related to motivation and staying power.

I am readily bored. Something new and exciting does not stay that way for long. If something catches my attention, I will go at whole-heartedly for a while. One day though, I will decide I have had enough. It will fall to the wayside. I don't always know why I have lost interest. Other times, the challenge is no longer there. I am great at starting projects, but I almost never finish them. This happens with sports, and work, and school, and everything really.

I dislike children. Don't get me wrong, some of them are adorable, and say cute things, and act all sweet like. But even then, I like them best from a distance. I am not the type to make a fool of myself for a kid's amusement. Unless I am drunk. Just saying. If there is an annoying kid nearby, I get annoyed. Very quickly. Jason wants a family one day. Me, not so much. I would much rather be selfish and hoard my money for myself and my adventures. I don't see the benefit of dedicating 18+ years of my time and money to a little brat. Added to that, I have very little patience. I still enjoy reading about other people's kids and families. It's just not something I want for myself.

I absolutely hate getting in trouble. Even the slightest reprimand can ruin my day. When I think about my childhood, the memories that often pop up first are those where I got in trouble. That's how much it affects me. I am definitely too much of a perfectionist.

I grew up as a straight-A student. It was expected of me. By me, my parents, my peers, my teachers. Everyone it seemed. I am lucky, I never really had to work at it. Learning came naturally, and easily. I rarely studied - I simply did a quick review before a test or finals. I enjoyed school, and sometimes I even enjoyed my homework. Post-secondary is proving to be a very different experience for me though. A lot of it has to do with a lack of motivation. I am no longer one of the "smart ones". I am simply mediocre. Everyone around me was also a straight-A student. The competition got too fierce, and I dropped out. (Literally. Twice.) Even my third attempt at it is proving difficult. An 85% on a midterm made me think of myself as a failure. Old habits die hard. And yet, I give up the easiest of marks - not attending all the lectures, not completing all the assignments. This semester has been a constant struggle to stay motivated. To just get through it. I've adopted a new mantra in hopes it will help "C's get degrees." Some people will probably say I'm selling myself short. But for me, just getting through the courses will get me farther than attempting to ace them, and giving up entirely when I don't.

I have this addiction to spending money. It doesn't even matter on what. I get as much a rush from buying groceries as buying shoes. It's not out of control, I've stayed out of debt. But I struggle with saving money. I've tried so many different things to change that, but I keep spending what I've saved.

I am a hoarder. It's not out of control. I do know how to purge. And I do on a semi-regular basis. But it's a struggle to not keep the stuff in the first place. I always think I will need it for something. So that means I need to find a home for it for about a year until I realize I haven't actually needed it. I also feel guilty if I spend money on something. If I get rid of it, it's like throwing money down the drain. I don't consider myself materialistic, but I realize more and more everyday that I might just be lying to myself.

Disqus
I have seen this application (?) on a few different blogs now. It's a reinvention of the comment, enabling actual conversations. Probably not something I really need. But I like that I can now respond to comments directly. Be a bit more involved.

What are your thoughts on it?

Blogroll
I explored the blogging world a bit today. And in recent weeks. Today I finally got around to updating my Blogroll. The majority of the blogs are the same, but there are some new ones now. This time, only a couple were cut, and those merely for lack of updates. Anyways, I suggest giving it a quick look if you have some time to spare.

Day 20

2009-11-20T23:56:00.001-07:00

Friday was a good day overall. I got lots done at work. At home I watched a bunch of tv.

Saturday will hopefully be for homework. Maybe a touch of housework.

Sunday is unplanned for the moment.

Jason is working. Overtime. Saturday and Sunday.

Day 19

2009-11-19T23:44:00.001-07:00

Tonight was rather uneventful. I went for a nap after dinner. And ended up sleeping the night away.

Tomorrow is Friday. Meaning I can wear jeans to work. Always a day to look forward to in my mind.

It's late though and despite my nap, my eyes keep dropping more and more. Sometimes you just need to catch up.

~Manderz~

Day 18

2009-11-18T23:28:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it is so easy to let yourself be overcome by negativity. And even if you surmount the negativity monotony is close behind it. Sometimes positivity can be near impossible to find.

There was a time in my life when I was super optimistic. I could find the silver lining in anything. I always had energy to spare.

Something changed that though. I don't know what. Now it's like the exact opposite. I feel like I'm sitting on the sidelines watching the happy people frolick about. And the greatest difficulty about getting out of a negative mindset is convincing yourself to stick with it. Your mind is working against you working to rewire it.

With this mindset I'm dealing with, I find a lot of past issues resurfacing. Things like body image and self esteem and time management. Issues I had believed were water under the bridge. To see them coming back is disheartening.

Deep, deep inside I know I can get through this. Cast the negativity aside. Embrace the light once again. But the willpower to accomplish it is not there. Yet. It will one day. Hopefully sooner than later. In the meantime, I intend to find little positives. Here and there. Wherever and whenever I'm able.

I shall start with a cuddle with my Jay and some sleep.

~Manderz~

Day 17

2009-11-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

I feel blah and unmotivated and haven't a single clue what to write about. Stupid NaBloPoMo.

Flowers Make Me Smile

2009-11-16T22:59:00.001-07:00

Today I wanted a hug. Since she couldn't give me one of those, Jessica got me the next best thing...flowers and plants. It definitely made my day. Changed it from a not so good one to a great one.

Once again, thank you! And LUMULK!

~Manderz~

It's That Time of Year

2009-11-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

About this time of year, I generally start thinking about Christmas shopping. Who is on my list this year. How much money I am willing to spend. And most important - what the heck am I going to buy?

One of the most popular sayings, "It's the thought that counts", has the ability to drive me absolutely bonkers. My thought process about this phrase goes as follows: So if it's the thought that counts, I should probably put some thought into what I buy everyone. Which means I need to think about what each person likes, wants or needs. And if the gift is not something special that's completed suited to them, well, then I've failed. Needless to say, it can make Christmas shopping very stressful.

Shopping for men is even harder, because they never let on what they want or need.

This year I'm tempted to just buy something that strikes my fancy. Something usable, but perhaps not something the person necessarily "needs". Make the season a bit less stressful on myself. Especially given that most of my shopping will be done online due to the lack of decent stores where I live.

How do you decide on Christmas gifts for the people on your list?

Handwriting Meme

2009-11-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

I found this while hunting on Flickr today. The instructions were:
1. Your name / username
2. Left handed or right handed
3. Favourite letters to write
4. Least favourite letters to write
5. "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."
6. Tag 6 people.

My Blackberry takes horrible pictures. And iPhoto refused to flip the picture I took with the Mac. So this is all I have.

Today was rather unproductive. Although I did make a couple exciting purchases on Etsy - some glass magnets of paw prints, and a rubber return address stamp for myself. I debated the stamp for a bit as I will eventually be changing my name. But in the meantime, it will be exciting to have a pretty stamp. Just because. Perhaps it will encourage me to write more letters. Or cards. Or simple notes. Anything really.

Maybe that's my problem with writing people - I'm always setting my goals too high. A long letter is great. But when it never gets written, it means nothing. So a short letter that actually gets sent means a lot more. Hmm...

On that note, if you want me to write you something, e-mail me your address (if I don't currently have it that is).

Doodles

2009-11-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

I bought some new Sharpie fine markers a few weeks ago. Mainly to be used when I start my new journal. However, tonight I decided to pull them out and do some doodling.

I am not an artist. I am almost always disappointed by my drawings. The images look so much better in my head than on paper. In order to minimize the negativity, I used Google Images to give me ideas.

The result - a decent doodle.

Day 12

2009-11-12T22:47:00.001-07:00

My body is slowly adjusting to waking up earlier for work. I feel tired by 10 pm. On days off I don't sleep in past 8.
Its something I would have fiercely claimed impossible a few years ago. I was attached to being a night owl. What I've come to realize though is that while I adjust to getting up earlier, I can still lay claim to night owl status. Perhaps early bird or lark will never be attained, or perhaps they will. I now realize I will adapt. Eventually.

~Manderz~

Day 11

2009-11-11T23:04:00.000-07:00

The concept of writing a post a day for an entire month is great. The reality of it falls short. Some days you don't want to write, and it's noticeable. I am not a dedicated writer, I have no desire to push through the unwillingness. Quality pays the price.

Today was a weird day. After a breakfast our with Jay and Brad, I came back and started working on my accounting assignment. I got set up in the bedroom with Jay's laptop and some new tunes. For a change, it was actually enjoyable to do homework. Once I finished, I surfed the web for a bit, and everything went downhill from there. I didn't want to do anything. Definitely not start on another assignment. Didn't want to be on the computer or watch tv. Didn't want to read a book or even make dinner. So I lay in bed, and eventually had a nap. Which wasn't even that great.

Lately, it really feels like the dogs are putting a lot of strain on my relationship with Jay. We disagree on how to deal with their behavior. I blame our actions (or mainly, lack thereof), and he blames the dogs. I definitely get the impression he would have no objections to giving them up, and that's not an option for me.

So Sleepy

2009-11-10T23:57:00.001-07:00

It's time for some sleep. Tomorrow is a day for rest, relaxation, and playing catch up.

It's the Dog Blog!

2009-11-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

(aka the post written by Mr. Gizmo himself)

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(I'm sorry, I found it too cute.)

The Day is Almost Over

2009-11-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today, well, to put it nicely, it sucked. A couple customers decided to yell at me over the phone, my cough got worse, I managed to hit my hand, I wore my "fat" pants... I could continue, but I won't.

Perhaps I should take the time to write about a topic. Especially since it seems to bring out some of my better writing. However, I really don't want to write. I would much prefer to finish my day off by reading a book. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Sorry.

The Real Day 8 Post

2009-11-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

Somehow tonight, even though I'm feeling better, I'm twice as tired as I was last night at this time. I do not understand. Perhaps it is a good thing though as I must get up early for work.

A part of me wants to keep writing. I can feel words building in my head. Usually I would let them flow until they couldn't flow anymore. But tonight, I think sleep might be more important. I'm better, but I'm definitely not over this cold/flu/sickness yet.

So a very quick, abbreviated story to end this weekend. I attempted to use my neti pot today. Try and clear the blockage from my nasal cavities. Instead of helping, all it did was make my nose tickle. Which set me on a sneezing spree. And sadly, the blockage remained. (Sorry for any potentially unwanted images).

Then I Fell Asleep on the Floor, and Missed My Deadline

2009-11-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

Technically, I missed posting on November 7. Fantastic.

I've been feeling better and better as the day progressed. This cold has been a weird one, I've been feeling a tickle in my nose and sneezing. A lot. It's actually rather annoying.

Gizmo has peed on the wall/floor upstairs 2 days in a row. He also barks like crazy and nips Brad on a regular basis. Jason is pissed. I blame myself for not exercising the boys enough, or giving them enough attention. They respond better to discipline when there are rewards in their lives as well.

I was a couch potato today. We ordered in pizza for dinner. It made me feel unhealthy and bloated. Perhaps tomorrow I will feel well enough to go grocery shopping. Too much junk food is not contributing to my health, that's for sure.

I felt compelled to order the Perfect Brownie Pan off tv today. Turns out they sell it at Home Hardware so I could have saved myself the shipping costs. Looks like my first tv ad purchase may be my last.

My living room feels overcrowded now. There is 3 people in my house, and only room for 2 on the couch. That is the only "real" seating. We never bought a chair when we were in Edmonton. I regret the decision to drive home before dark now. Perhaps I should just save up for and order the 3 seater sofa myself. It should only take a month of saving.

I am not proud of my house. It is never clean. I am too lazy. There is dog hair everywhere - it needs a serious vacuum. On at least a weekly basis. There is dust everywhere - I need to pull out a Swiffer. The bathrooms need a thorough cleaning. Especially the toilets - I don't understand how men must always hit the rim, and then never wipe it up. I have to empty the dishwasher and dishdrainer tomorrow. If I don't do it, it will sit for a few days while dishes pile up in the sink.

Sometimes, I really hate being a homeowner. There's too much space that needs to be cleaned, and where crap can accumulate.

Day 6

2009-11-06T22:55:00.001-07:00

Sometimes simple titles are best. They don't take a lot of effort. Tonight is definitely a night where I don't want to expend too much energy.

I type on my BlackBerry so I don't have to move. There is no topic in my mind so as not to tax my brain. My only thought is "you must post SOMETHING today."

There is most definitely.a reason for this, and it is not laziness. Tonight, I am sick.

I went to work today with a slightly runny nose, a cough and a sore throat. I left with a full sinus congestion, the chills, and a nasty headache in addition to the cough. I lay on the floor and slept when I got home. Later I moved to the couch and slept some more. Now I am in my bed ready to sleep the night away. My whole body aches. Yhe joints feel tense and difficult to move.

All I want is to feel better.

Apples and Ink

2009-11-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

My dearest cousin Jessica suggested I write about tattoos for one of my posts this month. So I figured, let's do it right away. As a bonus, I have pictures for this one (albeit old ones).

I am a huge fan of tattoos. On other people, and on myself. It was a never a question for me whether I would get one, it was simply a question of when. I can remember planning what I would get back in elementary school. That interest has only grown with time.

For some people, getting inked is something to be approached with a lot of thought. It is after all, something you will carry on you forever (disregarding laser removal of course). They put thought into finding a design that they will like for years to come. This was part of the reason I started planning so young. I felt if I wanted the same thing for long enough, it meant I would continue to like it.

And yet, my first tattoo was not one of those well-thought out designs. I went with my friend Kaylee. We both wanted something small. We chose the shop based on the fact we could walk-in without an appointment. I felt really nervous at first. Two young women in a shop with 4+ tattoo covered men. But I was way too excited for it to last. This was it, I was finally getting something I'd dreamed of for years. My choice was a hibiscus flower. I brought in the drawing myself (already shrunk to the exact size I wanted). A small tattoo, on my right hip. It was nowhere near as painful as I expected. More of a prickly itch. It only took 15 minutes. Possibly less.

If I remember correctly, Kaylee's tattoo is Chinese for perseverance.

This was taken the moment we were allowed to take the bandages off. We were so giddy.

Now I don't know if I would go so far as to say I "love" this tattoo. But I still really like it, and I definitely don't regret getting it. Especially since when I really look at it, it reminds me of Kaylee, and brings back some great memories.

That was in August of 2006. A mere 2 1/2 months later, I got my 2nd tattoo. This one was not planned. At all. In fact, it all happened because of a trip to get Malyssa's belly button pierced. Which we did. While we were waiting for her to get in the room, we were flipping through a portfolio of tattoos. Discussing what we liked and didn't like. Malyssa said it would be cool to get a tattoo behind her ear one day. Being the person I am (evidently, an idea stealer), I said I loved it. I wanted it. Right away. I asked the tattoo artist in that shop, but he made some b.s. excuse about not having the supplies to do it. So after the piercing, off we trekked to my favourite tattoo shop. And got my astrological sign, Aries, tattooed behind my left ear. It hurt even less than my hip tattoo. To this day, I love it. Yes, love.

I happened to be getting the majority of my piercings at this time as well. A grand total of 13 at one point. But that's a whole other story. Maybe.

I wanted another tattoo right away. They're very addictive like that. But this time, I wanted something bigger. Which meant more expensive. So I held off, and planned, and waited. A year later, I got my 3rd tattoo. This time, at a different studio. I selected my artist with care (and an eye on my pocketbook). For a change, I booked an appointment, left a couple pages of ideas with the artist, and waited for D-Day to come. This tattoo was on my lower back, a tramp stamp if you prefer. It was not a pleasant hour. When he went over my spine, my whole body would vibrate. A rather unsettling feeling. The worst was the sides of my back. They hurt. I tried to think about anything else. An hour and a bit later, and it was done.

This tattoo means a lot to me. One of my "lifelong" plans was to get butterflies. Being able to get something I'd dreamed about for so long was fantastic. The words are my motto. It's hard to see in this picture, but the butterflies have blue (my favourite colour) and green, which is a combination I think is beautiful.

Two years have passed since I was last inked. I've been wanting more tattoos almost constantly the entire time. But my next one, I want to be big. Probably down the side of my ribs. I know the design I want too - it's based on a t-shirt my brother got me for Christmas a few years ago. A wave of water, with a koi swimming upstream, and lots of flowers. Very colourful. When I will get this, I don't know yet. It will be on my 101 in 1, 001 list though. So sometime in the next 3 years for sure.

After that, well we'll see. Tattoos are to me, what scrapbooking is to other people. A chance to leave a visual reminder of a time in your life. Will I get more? Definitely. Of what? I have ideas of a faery (beautiful and dark), or a cherry blossom tree, or my pups paw prints. Only time will tell what I decide. Perhaps one day I will be in the position to get full sleeves like I (not-so-secretly) dream about. For now, I enjoy looking at the art on the people around me, appreciating where their lives have taken them.

How do you feel about tattoos? What would you get done?

Day 4

2009-11-04T23:52:00.000-07:00

I feel as though I accomplished very little today. In some ways that is accurate. In other ways, it is selling myself short.

Last night I stayed up too late. I didn't feel overly tired when I woke up, but it kicked in as the day progressed. Focusing on work was a bit difficult - I had to go slow to prevent mistakes.

Tonight, I stayed up late again. A bit by accident. If you call getting fed up with all the messes, and tackling the dishes. After I bailed on school because I felt drained. My second wind kicked in around 9pm tonight.

I have taken a few pictures in the past week or so. I just haven't gotten around to uploading them yet. My laptop and I have an interesting relationship. Sometimes I love it, will play around endlessly. Other times, like recently, going up to the office is a pain. It takes too long to boot up. My wireless mouse and keyboard are a huge headache. Then I just use Jason's MacBook. Which is the best laptop ever as far as I'm concerned. I'm definitely considering ditching PCs and Windows when I buy my next notebook/desktop computer. But back to the pictures, I tend to avoid uploading anything to Jason's computer. So when I jump back to my own laptop, you'll see some. Pathetic excuse, but that's just the story of my life lately.

Day 3

2009-11-03T23:38:00.002-07:00

Coming up with a topic every single day can be so difficult. I can usually think up some ideas, but I can't seem to expand on them enough to make a entire post. It's a large part of the reason I post on an irregular basis. This month I really hope to minimize the short "Today I..." posts. At the end, I know it will mean a lot to me.

Brad moved back in tonight. I'm excited, even if my office has become full of unsorted odds, ends, and papers. Items I'd moved out of the room 6 months ago. One day I will have everything sorted and in its place. One day when I'm not so lazy.

I enjoy the freedom to post from my Blackberry. It makes the challenge just that little bit easier. Right now I'm watching The Biggest Loser with all the boys. And writing away on my phone. My fingers are doing the walking today.

I just clued in that there are 4 males in my house. And then me. The lone female. I like it. The crazy emotions are from me only.

I intend to sell Partylite. So if you live in Canada, if you have any candle or candle holder requirements, I hope you will keep me in mind. And if you want a party, you better call.

My new job is really throwing my whole schedule off. I get up earlier. I leave for work before the sun is up. I have to wait for Jay to get off work. By that time the sun is down. I get home in time to eat dinner then rush out the door to class. I come home ready for bed.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Post #100

2009-11-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am tired.

Tonight it feels as though the sands of time are slipping rapidly through my fingers, never to be had again.

Tonight I made a choice. Tonight time is not near important as rest.

Only tomorrow will tell whether the choice was right.

Change might be coming.

Yes, more change.

I want it.

But I am not ready.

I keep making choices, and time is always sacrificed.

But I want it back.

Even though it is not be be had.

Have I given too much?

Is it too late to change?

NaBloPoMo Day 1

2009-11-01T09:36:00.001-07:00

Today marks the first day of November. A month also known as NaBloPoMo in the blogging world. Which (hopefully) means 30 days of daily posts. For me, I think it's going to be a challenge to set aside time to write something every day. I am lazy. And that's not the easiest obstacle to overcome. I need motivation, and self-motivation is not a strength of mine.

I was hoping to post my 101 Goals in 1,001 Days list today. But it's still far from completed. And I won't post it until it is.

This is another post from my Blackberry. I'm sitting in my car outside a yoga studio in Edmonton. The doors have yet to open. For a change, I'm early. It's a nice feeling. No need to rush.

Jason and I drove down yesterday. He's got a jiu jitsu seminar today. I decided a trip would be fun. We stayed at the Fantastland hotel last night. Complete with hot tub in the room. We bought some bubble bath and had a blast.

My first week at the new job went quite well. It's a slower pace even though there's lots to be done. Hopefully the stress will stay away now. I'm really looking forward to carpooling with Jason. More time together is never a bad thing.

Dexter and Gizmo aren't getting enough exercise lately and their behaviour is going downhill accordingly. It is going to be a challenge to walk them with daylight disappearing rapidly after we get home from work. It's not fair to them though, so we'll figure something out.

~Manderz~

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

A Compilation

2009-10-23T00:04:00.000-06:00

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Possible Wedding Dress

2009-10-18T19:09:00.002-06:00

Kadence

What do you think?

What do YOU want?

2009-10-16T23:54:00.001-06:00

I want to know. Why do you read Manderz' Musings? What keeps you coming back for more? Is there something you want me to write about? Any changes you want made? Anything you've always wanted to say, but never have?

It doesn't matter if this is your first visit or your 100th. I want to know...WHAT DO YOU WANT?

~Manderz~
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Great News

2009-10-15T23:13:00.001-06:00

The news came yesterday: I got a job offer. I couldn't be happier. A chance to work in a lower stress environment will be quite the change; one my body and mind will be thankful for.

I got my first midterm mark back lady night. A 97%. I'm quite proud of myself for that. This weekend I have to study really hard for my accounting midterm next week.

So it's something I've been thinking about ever since I hosted a party. I want to sell Partylite. Not really for the money. My intentions are simply to do book parties. The idea is just to do it for the fun and great deals. It's added responsibility, but in the end I control how much time I dedicate.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Happy (Canadian) Turkey Day

2009-10-13T00:11:00.001-06:00

This post is ultimately a test. A test of whether posting by email actually works. I'm hoping it does as that opens a whole new world of updating from my phone - something that has increased my use of Facebook and Twitter.

Turkey dinner tonight was delicious. Thanks to Crystal, Cammie, Kindel, and Jay for the great food and conversation. My first Thanksgiving away from home was an enjoyable one. And for those who questioned my Facebook statuses, I have resolved the "issue" and found some things to be thankful for.

My paper on Interpersonal Styles for my Interpersonal Skills class is half done. Getting that half written in the first place was not a simple task. I don't consider myself to be a writer, and I'm out of practice. The words were not flowing nicely that's for sure. I'd like to say this will be a good lesson against procrastination but if I'm honest I know it won't make a difference.

I'm hoping for good news this week. So send wishes my way if you have some to spare. Please?

Perhaps I should give myself a good night's sleep to help with finishing my paper tomorrow. So I bid thee farewell. For now.
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Let's Talk

2009-10-11T00:24:00.000-06:00

I wrote my first midterm this week in my Interpersonal Skills class. It came up almost as a surprise - time sure does fly by quickly. At first I was in an absolute panic as I was behind on my reading. However, I was able to get enough studying in that I felt confident writing the test. Now it's just a matter of waiting for results, and studying for next week's midterm. I also have a four page paper to write, which is definitely going to put my writing skills to the test. This is going to be the first paper I've attempted since high school (aka in over three years).

My 101 in 1,001 list is coming along. I now have 65 goals. It feels as though I've hit a wall now though, as I've been struggling to come up with more. Perhaps I will start reading other people's lists in an attempt to come up with some more ideas for my own. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm definitely open to hearing them. Ideally, I'd like to finish the list by the end of October - just in time for NaBloPoMo.

Right now I am watching Ghost Hunters. I love this show.

Today I convinced Jason to come shopping with me. Barely, but he came. I bought some winter boots, a new pair of shoes for work, some turtlenecks and a pair of work pants. A month ago, I was in the mindset that I didn't need to buy any new clothes for work - I have tons. And yet, I realized I need more sweaters. I am always cold, and I need more options. As for pants, I've lost eight pounds in the past two months. Not necessarily intentionally, but it happened, and my pants are a bit loose because of it. So I found a really cute pair at Ricki's, and they are long enough for me to wear with heels. That in itself is impressive, as I usually wear a 33"-34" inseam with flats or runners, so I need at least a 36" for heels. But Ricki's 34" inseam seems to be the perfect length. Yay!! Because I love my heels, and I dislike how limited my options become in winter (most of my pants aren't long enough).

I finally pulled out my Wii for a workout today. It's been disgustingly long since I've had a true workout. The only person to blame is myself, and I'm determined to put a change to it. My muscles have been feeling tight, so I'm going to be fitting in some yoga this next week for sure. I was expecting to feel exhausted after, but it was energizing. If I can remember that feeling, it will definitely be useful in keeping me motivated.

Green Peace has been quite active in my area lately. And I have to say, while I respect that they're trying to bring about change, I don't agree with the way they are approaching it. Neither the trespassing and attempting to put a stop to work through unsafe practices, nor the fact that they seem to be putting the blame solely on the tar sands. When I moved here, I found out a lot of positive actions that the companies are taking to reduce their impact on the environment. For me, the most interesting was that every piece of land that is used will eventually be "reclaimed", and returned to it's previous natural state. I've been to one of these reclaimed areas, and they're some of the most beautiful places in the area (in my opinion). At the end of the day, I think the best approach is the reduce society's consumption of the products - make us less dependent. Because let's face it, if the world abruptly stopped producing oil, the results would be disastrous. What do you think?

What Have I Done to Myself?!

2009-10-03T22:18:00.000-06:00

Today I got a massage. It was my first time. And while I would like to say it was the most relaxing thing ever, I can't. Because it HURT! Now before any jumps in and says something along the lines of "you're supposed to let the masseuse know", I was expecting it to hurt. Hopefully, it will not be in vain. Even now, 8 hours later, it still hurts.

The root problem is stress. I have been extremely stressed out lately - mainly with work - and it just keeps getting worse. Or maybe I should say, I haven't really done anything to rectify the situation until now. So what exactly is the situation? When I get stressed, I get tense. Really, really tense in my upper back, shoulders and neck. Add in lack of exercise (for various reasons), and relaxation just never occurs. Meaning, the tense muscles turned into knotted muscles. Which lately has been leading to nasty tension headaches on a daily basis.

Today's massage was step one in trying to calm down the angry muscles. The masseuse did exactly as I requested, and worked on the knots. It was definitely a struggle to focus on keeping my breath steady. But I'm proud of myself, for letting her do what I asked, for accepting the pain as a consequence for my actions (or lack thereof).

Next up, a chiropractor. I have an appointment in a week and a half. Not as soon as I would like, but he's been recommended by multiple people. And when someone is going to be twisting my neck, they better be good. After that, I am thinking I will get another massage and possibly some acupuncture (if I can find someone who does it). I am also going to make a concentrated effort to fit some physical activity into my schedule. To do some yoga with Jason. To use my Wii Fit. To dig out my workout videos. Maybe even get out for a run before the cold hits.

I'm also going to do everything I can to get an ergonomic set-up at work. Perhaps I will just bring a drill in and install my own keyboard tray (my old one fell off). I've waited over a month and nothing has been done. I am going to sit up straight in my chair, and use as many stacks of paper as necessary to get my monitor to the right height. It's not my fault if it doesn't look right sticking over the counter. The current situation is not allowing me to do my job effectively. I have been very tense, easily frustrated, and not the most pleasant receptionist to deal with.

Yay!

2009-09-30T21:42:00.000-06:00

I got my favicon to work!!! So excited. All it took was using the image in a .png format instead of .ico. Simple, but it took much too long to figure out.

My next goal is to install an "external" template. It's probably going to take me a while to figure out all the coding that I have to transfer though. The challenge is always fun though. Even the challenge is really finding a website with directions that work. ;-)

School is rather frustrating for me right now. I feel like I haven't learned anything. This was a phenomenon I noticed in my Architectural Technologies courses as well. Whether I have mastered the concepts or not is hard to say. I suppose I won't find out until mid-terms. Which happen to be approaching rather quickly. I've been trying to dedicate more time to working on accounting problems - but that means less time for my other courses. Maybe I've set the standards too high for myself without really realizing it. Whatever the reasons may be though, I really hate feeling stupid.

Argh

2009-09-29T21:47:00.001-06:00

I am currently quite frustrated.

None of my attempts to add the code for a favicon have worked. I've tried 3 different versions of code.

I just really want one. :-(

Does anyone have any suggestions?

This Just In

2009-09-27T17:03:00.000-06:00

The Hills - season 6 starts Tuesday!!!

I am so excited. Although let's be honest here, another time-waster is not exactly what I need. However, I have cancelled 2 shows I normally record. Which more than offsets The Hills.

Creativity

2009-09-26T13:43:00.000-06:00

My blog has been boring me, but I haven't dedicated any time to fixing it. So that's what I've attempted to do today. :-) Let me know what you think.

This weekend is about cleaning the house (yet again), doing homework, playing with the boys, and hopefully squeezing in a bit of relaxation. It seems that with me in school, and Jason doing Brazillian jiu jitsu again that these things tend to fall to the wayside during the week. While I understand there are only so many hours in the day, and unwinding from a stressful day at work is important, I am rather frustrated by the continuity of our To Do List.

Work has been very stressful lately. For various reasons, it has not been an enjoyable place to be. I'm attempting to find ways to get me through the day, but they aren't always successful. The toll of the stress on my body has become progressively worse. My neck and back are in a near constant state of tension, and it's become painful on a few occasions. So I'm getting a massage next week. I would like to see a chiropractor, but I'm very hesitant as I've heard many horror stories from people everywhere. We will see if I can get some recommendations though.

I've recently stumbled across a few new blogs. So don't forget to check out my blogroll. There are also links to my Facebook and Twitter which I'm updating on a daily basis (yay for using my cell phone!), as well as my recent experimentation with Delicious. Hopefully Flickr will have some pictures up soon, but that's just one more time-consuming task that needs to be done.

I am planning on doing a "101 in 1001" list. Every night before bed, I am going to write down goals. Hopefully the 101 will come along quickly, although I have no intention of placing any pressure on myself to finish it by a certain time.

My September goal of writing in my journal every night has been a huge success! I'm actually quite proud of myself. It's definitely something I plan to continue. When I first started the month, I tended to write very short entries, but as the month has progressed, the entries have become longer and more varied.

Because I'm in Love

2009-09-19T00:00:00.003-06:00

Thoughts

2009-09-18T23:47:00.002-06:00

I finally got around to adding some new "features" to my blog. Ones I've been meaning to add for a very long time. Really, it's only one feature - my links. Using icons.

Jay is out of town for work. Boo! But he's coming home tomorrow. Yay!

Tomorrow I work, so the fuzzybutts will have to spend another day in their kennel. At least we got out for a walk/jog/run tonight.

I could really use a chiropractor. And a good yoga session.

Pizza Catastrophe

2009-09-14T22:23:00.004-06:00

Somehow the fuzzybutts managed to get a box of pizza off the counter in our kitchen. And based on stomach size alone, we figure Dexter ate the majority of our large pepperoni. At this point neither has gotten sick, but we won't be surprised if there's a mess in the morning. Let's hope they don't get too bad though.

In other news, I posted a condensed version of our vacation in photos on Facebook. I'm going to be uploading the entire album to either Picasa or Flickr (or both) hopefully later this week. But I shall leave you with one of my favourites...

...as I must be off to shower and get some r&r.

Thoughts

2009-09-07T23:34:00.002-06:00

Am I where I should be? Not even close. I find it rather depressing starting the week off feeling as though I'm already behind. And yet this is the second week in a row like it. Unfortunately, my procrastination skill still reign supreme over almost all other skills. Somehow I must slowly hack away at this inefficiency. Otherwise I will never conquer a satisfying work/school/life balance.

Yesterday I downloaded the new Imogen Heap album Ellipse, as well as the Major Tom single by Shiny Toy Guns. I highly recommend both.

Lately I've been thinking about portion sizes. Mainly at restaurants. I have come to some conclusions:

Fast food breakfast combos are generally the perfect size for my appetite.
(Current obsession: McDonald's Sausage and Egg McMuffin with a hashbrown and orange juice)
Fast food lunch/dinner combos are too big for me, and yet the sandwich and drink alone is not enough. Which means, I would prefer a child's size fries with my meal.
Sit-down restaurants have portions that are much too large. I rarely clear my plate, and I always feel guilty. Especially since I dislike leftovers as a general principle. Nothing ever tastes the same, and I disagree that food tastes better the next day. There are times I'm tempted to custom order the exact amount of food on my plate. So far I have restrained myself though.
I also think all restaurants offering breakfast should add a few links of sausage to all menu items - it would make deciding what to eat so much easier. I do love my breakfast sausage.

Jay and I took Mr. Giz & Bald-man to the dog park today. It was a better experience then when I went alone with the boys on Saturday.

It turns out the fuzzy-butts know how to "woof" and "bark". The "woof" is absolutely adorable. We are constantly trying to get one out of them now. Which can be rather difficult, as neither is very prone to speaking. But if we surprise them, or they don't recognize us, we have been getting results. One day I would like them to "woof" on command though.

Despite promising to upload photos from my vacation, I have yet to do so. Soon.

I am in the process of coming up with a new blog design in my head. One day when I have the time, I might actually make it a reality. My internet adventures have introduced me to vector graphics, icon sets, favicons and other exciting entities. Now I just need to learn how to integrate them (meaning I need to decipher some code - using many Google searches). I'm also debating about putzing around in CorelDRAW Essentials (my free Photoshop) and trying to draw a few things myself. Somehow I doubt my non-existent artistic skills will suddenly disappear and be replaced by some insanely creative ones though, so perhaps not. I'll probably just download a bunch of free graphics and such created by other talented individuals, and create a hodge-podge I can call my own.

I'm also curious, what other "social" sites are you using? Facebook? Twitter? Digg? Delicious? Flickr? MySpace? Anything else?

Tomorrow is fast approaching though, and it's going to be a busy day. So too-da-loo!

Back to the Grind

2009-09-05T23:21:00.002-06:00

I have been home a week tomorrow from vacation. Yes, I am aware I have not posted any pictures yet. Hopefully tomorrow.

It has been quite a crazy week. Monday was getting back in the groove at work, Tuesday I took most of the day off to go to the college for my textbooks, id, etc. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights I had class. Needless to say, I am quite happy that it is a long weekend.

All my boys have adjusted quite well to being home. Jay tried out a jiu-jitsu class on Tuesday, and he's definitely interested in going on a regular basis. Dex & Giz have stopped misbehaving quite as much, and training seems to be progressing.

Today was for sleeping in and cuddling. This afternoon Jay vacuumed and washed the main floor. I did some laundry and took our furry boys to the vet for a nail trim and travel medication. After we went to the dog park for the first time. I wasn't sure how they would do, so I kept them leashed to each other. But they had a blast with the other dogs, and only attempted to leave the area once (which I had anticipated, so they didn't get very far). I really want to take them back with Jay this weekend so we can let them run free. While they were chasing a larger dog, Giz ended up dragging Dex since his legs are a bit longer. It made me laugh though. Jay and I gave the boys a bath when we got back, so they smell all pretty now.

Tomorrow I'll be doing more laundry and (hopefully) complete all of my homework and reading for next week.

Lately I've been feeling very frustrated by the lack of writing I'm doing. I rarely journal, I update my blog only sporadically. So I made the decision to make this Start Writing September. I haven't had a theme month in much too long. What this means to me is that I will write in my journal nightly. Even if I have nothing more to write than "Today was a good day, and now I am tired." Because if I'm honest, that is still writing something. I will also attempt to update my blog a bit more often. No time limits, and no being frustrated if it is simply a "fluffy" post about absolutely nothing. I am also committed to leaving comments on more of the blogs I read. And this is where I am trying to challenge myself to leave some words of a bit more value (at least to me).

In an attempt to spark new ideas for my writing, I've been re-reading old blogs. I have lost the location of my first attempt, but my first Nexopia post dates from January 2006. Even though I can't claim to have posted regularly since then, I am quite impressed with being a blogger for over 3 years. It is also quite amusing to see what I wrote about "back in the day". Tee hee.

Reporting Live from (not so sunny) San Diego

2009-08-23T19:06:00.002-06:00

It's hard to believe it's already the evening of Day 2. Time is passing much too quickly. However, we're enjoying every minute of it, so I won't complain.

The flight went smoothly, I passed the time reading Elle and watching various shows on satellite tv. Our hotel is fantastic: we got a room with a view (barely as we look out onto the roof) of the marina, and best of all computers with free internet.

Last night we relaxed in the hotel on our bed of clouds, then did some shopping down on Misson Beach. I finally bought my very first sundress (it only took 1 1/2 years to find one I liked). Dinner was at a rooftop patio - the food was fast, and good (nothing special though) - but it was super cold out. After we got back to the hotel we went for a walk near the marina. Smelling the sea air is so relaxing.

Today our goal was Kono's for breakfast, and then surfing. Kono's is this little restaurant right on Mission Beach (right in front of Crystal Pier if you're in the area), that has AMAZING food at even more amazing prices. They haven't raised their prices in something like 850+ days - there's a sign on the wall proudly declaring this. Pictures of Jason's huge burrito will be posted once I get home. Surfing was a blast, although the waves were huge. Well, huge to relative beginners like us, the residents were simply calling them "big". It made catching a wave a bit harder since we were trying to stay away from the crowds of good surfers. The overcast sky was replaced by sunshine and blue skies at some point during our time in the Pacific. Both of us stood up a few times, and in true Mandy fashion, I took many enjoyable tumbles. One that sticks out in my mind was when I managed to stand up, and then promptly fell over sideways, and ended up doing a belly flop right onto the top of the wave. Good times.

This afternoon our plans were screwed up a bit by time flying by, so we ended up making some adjustments. We ended up planning the major events for the rest of our stay, and then went shopping at Fashion Valley. And by shopping, I mostly mean browsing and enjoying being in an open air mall. I was a bit surprised when I walked out of JCPenney and there was sunshine everywhere. My first reaction was to turn around and go find the correct exit into the mall. Then I saw stores and kiosks.

Currently Jay is having a nap, and I came down to print off the details for our adventure tomorrow. We plan on having a simple meal at the sports bar in our hotel, and then spend the evening going for a walk and in the pool. Simple, relaxing, and inexpensive.

I've been updating Twitter and Facebook on a fairly regular basis...if you're interested.

We Would Like to Introduce

2009-08-01T11:27:00.001-06:00

Dexter

Gizmo

Our gorgeous new pups!

There will be many, many more pictures to follow! You've been warned.

We are currently thinking Dachshund Retreiver cross. If there are any other possibilities you see, let me know!

Waiting

2009-07-30T22:31:00.001-06:00

We're waiting…

for Saturday…

because on Saturday…

we're welcoming something new into our lives…

2 cuddly dogs from

the SPCA!!!

The details (that we know):

Names: Dexter & Gizmo (as chosen by us)

Age: ~2

Breed: Dachshund cross

Friendly: very

Loveable: definitely

Training: so far, so good

Very, very excited!

Don't worry, pictures will definitely be up as soon as I have them.

In other news:

My parents are coming up for a visit tomorrow. It will be wonderful to see them, and show off the house, and get some help with some unpacking and odd jobs. :-)
I applied to go to school this Fall at the local college – take a couple evening courses. Fingers-crossed I get accepted.
The shoes I ordered from Aldo arrived – the ones I really, really wanted don't fit though. So big bummer there. But the sandals are cute, so I'm painting my toes so I can wear them tomorrow.

And finally…

Happy birthday Jill!

(…tomorrow)

A Rambling

2009-07-14T23:24:00.001-06:00

Working overtime is 100x better when you actually want to do it.

I'm loving having my computer set up, since I can listen to all my music again. Turns out I actually missed it.

We have our first overnight guests coming up for Thursday. Conveniently, Jason is out of town until Thursday. The cleaning and preparing has been left to me. Tonight I accomplished nothing. Tomorrow, I must accomplish more.

Top priority: laundry. 2nd in line: scrubbing the shower.

I never get to bed early enough when Jay's away. It's almost as though he functions as my bed-time alarm clock.

Me, as a drowned rat

I've been craving a Wii Fit session for a few days now. I should probably make an attempt. Ironically enough though, both of us have gained weight since starting to be more active. But we're both understanding, so it's all good.

My bedroom is a mess. Barely see the floor messy. And the only reason you can see the floor is because my parent's rule of "always have a clear path from the door to your bed and to your window" was firmly ingrained in my head.

My fridge and pantry are currently lacking in the food department.

Tar sand beetles are creepy, and probably the largest bugs I've ever seen. It just so happens they are even creepier when they fly. However, I did find out they only bite when trapped or scared. Which is definitely noted in my books.

Creeping Facebook is turning out to be just as much fun as creeping Nexopia. Oh, those were the days. It's fun looking at all the pictures people post, seeing what's happening in everyone's life. I think that in itself is huge – that I don't see many of those people on a regular basis anymore, so it's always cool to see where they are ending up. It's still kind of crazy to think I graduated 3 years ago.

Lately I've definitely been feeling the urge to get a new tattoo. Probably upper back, maybe coming down my side a bit. Not exactly sure if I want a tree/bough of cherry blossoms, or a koi fish though. I know I want both eventually – it's just a matter of deciding which one is right for me now…and where I want it to go. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas, please share. Perhaps I should just talk to my artist, seeing as he's a friend, he might be able to share an honest opinion as well.

Word-wise, this is on the of the longest blog posts I've written in a long while.

Beer for breakfast

I accidently deleted an entire folder of unread e-mails. I was about to restore it, and then I decided it was probably a sign that the e-mails weren't that important to begin with. My life will not be forever altered by not reading those e-mails. Trust me on that one.

My wheatgrass and lucky clover have both been tossed into the garbage. My black thumb (aka irregular watering schedule) has shown itself, and won. Yet again. Next on my list: bamboo (again). I just love it. And there's no such thing as overwatering, so I just need to "fill the pot" every day, and all shall be well. I hope.

Being the klutz that I am, I just spilled water all over my keyboard and mouse. Luckily I have a new hairdryer. And everything still seems to be working. Hopefully the same will be true tomorrow.

I really miss my snowboard friends right now. If you read this…please come visit me.

I would love to have the same keyboard and mouse at work. Somehow I don't think I can pass it off as a justifiable expense.

Key ingredients: cereal and a good book

There is a bit of a debate occurring in my head (I'm not really paying a lot of attention, but it continues nonetheless). I just can't seem to decide if I'd rather wear scrubs or business casual to work. Scrubs mean I can wear skate shoes. Oh how I love wearing skate shoes. And I'd never have to make a decision about what to wear in the morning. And doing laundry would involve less sorting. However, wearing business casual means I get to wear heels. I do love my heels. Although I'd have even more options if I was allowed to wear jeans since I don't have any dress pants that are truly long enough. Another bonus is that I wouldn't need to go buy anything new, as I have enough business casual clothes in my wardrobe to suffice.

Jay left the lights on in the basement. The basement gives me the hee bee jee bees. Coming back upstairs and having the dark chase me is by far the worst. *shiver*.

Where

2009-07-13T22:29:00.001-06:00

Where did the optimism go? It seems farther and farther out of my reach every time I make the effort to find it. Or maybe I'm not really making the effort, maybe it's only a pretence.

Where is my desire to better myself? My goals are non-existent. It's hard to find a starting point. Even harder without an endpoint.

Where is the joy in the simple things? I know it's there, it comes out every once in a while. But it has to be carefully drawn out, and only stays out for a tiny bit.

Where are the answers? How do I find them? Will I find them?

What a Day

2009-07-07T22:56:00.001-06:00

Today at work we began using the new computer program. What seemed so simple and straightforward in training, become increasingly complex and made for a rather l-o-n-g day. It turned pretty much every single staff member into a grumpy, stress ball ready to snap at the slightest occurrence. Horrible, horrible experience. I truly hope the powers-that-be learned that having a fully booked day when something this big happens is not a bright idea. There were patients waiting half an hour to check out rather than the usual couple of minutes.

Tomorrow is a new day. And we're slowly becoming a bit more comfortable. The front desk team made a "pact" to have a slightly less stressful day. That's enough for me.

After work both Jason and I ended up falling asleep. So much for our plan to paint tonight. Looks like we'll have to just suck it up and commit tomorrow night. I was able to accomplish quite a bit once I woke up though.

Saturday night we are going to host a UFC party. First time having guests in our house. There's still lots of cleaning to be done, and hopefully we can finish painting before then. Jason is a bit concerned because of the amount of people invited, and the lack of seating. I think it's going to make it memorable – floor seating only, bring your own pillow. GSP, we shall be ready!

The One-Minute Writer Prompt of the Day

(If you want to see what this is, and what I'm writing about, just check out the link.)

- A cuddle, a hug, a kiss from one you love.
- Playing with a puppy or kitten.
- A walk outside, listening to the birds.

July 6th – A Very Special Day

2009-07-06T23:18:00.001-06:00

Today Jay turned 26.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! I love you.

Fashion News

2009-07-03T23:03:00.001-06:00

Let's talk fashion for a moment. I just found out they are creating a film The September Issue about - you guessed it -the September issue of Vogue. A real-life version of my favourite movie The Devil Wears Prada. I'm super stoked! You can check out the trailer here. But don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't understand the appeal.

Currently, 3 days set aside for painting the living room have passed, and we have yet to apply the first stroke. Actually, we still need to go to the store and buy the paint. But that's beside the point. Instead, I cleaned the last of the kitchen cupboards, unpacked a few more boxes, and reorganized the pantry. I always become so much more productive when there's another task I don't really want to do.

Having my computer all set up is just fantastic. I am finally starting to catch up on my blog reading. And I've cleared the majority of my e-mail inbox. Another great benefit is being able to listen to listen to my full iTunes library (since it's on my external hard drive that I only unpacked 2 days ago). The current artist playing: Backstreet Boys. What can I say, sometimes the "oldies" are the best.

This weekend, unfortunately, I must leave Jay alone with the (potential) painting as I work Saturday AND Sunday. It seems the weekends are disappearing rather quickly. At least work will be fairly relaxed as it's just training for the new program.

A Small Preview

2009-07-02T22:29:00.003-06:00

Last weekend Jason and I went to a wedding for some great friends in Drumheller. It was so much fun, and I really enjoyed visiting and partying with everyone.

The wedding party

Some friends/family

Me & the bride

I swapped clothes with another girl halfway through the night…

The full album can be found on Facebook here.

Another Change

2009-06-13T23:32:00.005-06:00

I finally decided to use my camera again. For all of a couple pictures. But at least it's a start.

I got my hair done today. Foil, Color, Cut. I'm very happy with it. We'll see how easy it is to style by myself tomorrow though.

Thoughts?

My Wii, Wii Fit, and Active "personal trainer" are tons of fun. I have a couple workout videos to try out soon as well. Definitely a good investment - I've gotten more workouts done in the past week than I had since I've been in Fort McMurray. Much more enjoyable.

The tree on the front lawn turns out to be alive - just in serious need of some pruning of dead limbs. It's got really pretty pink flowers right now. The plan: water it like crazy. Maybe it will end up growing as insanely as my wheat grass and clover has.

I've been ignoring the computer at home lately. My e-mail inbox currently has 121 unread e-mails. Gah.

Jay and I watched "Land of the Lost" at the theatre last night, and rented "Role Models" tonight. Disappointed by the first, amused by the second.

I'm really looking forward to going to Drumheller next weekend.

Anyways...I'm going to go to bed. Ciao!

Gurggle

2009-06-02T21:23:00.002-06:00

Tonight I went to a "boot camp" fitness class. I knew I was out of shape - I just didn't realize how much. At the moment, I can barely move. Not really in pain, or stiff , it's more a matter of being thoroughly exhausted. I fell over trying to untie my shoes when I got home. Jay was super sweet and brought me a glass of milk, and refilled my water bottle.

Tomorrow my shoulders will hurt. I did 128 pushups tonight. That's the exercise that sticks out the most in my mind. Probably because that was my biggest nemesis. I struggled through all but the first 10. The sad thing is, the first 10 were "guy" pushups, while the remaining 118 were "girly" ones.

I think I should be ashamed.

My wheat grass continues to grow at an insane pace. As do the weeds all over the lawn. At least I actually enjoying pulling them out (very strange, I know). I figure I'll be waging quite the war against this year as the neighbours on either side of us don't appear to be bothered by the large ratio of dandelions and clover vs. the ever minimal grass.

We bought a Wii on the weekend. Mainly because I want a Wii Fit (which is currently being shipped).

Ice Cubes of Yumminess

2009-05-20T21:38:00.002-06:00

Last night I came up with a brilliant idea. Well, really, a brilliant idea I and many other people have had before, but one that I had simply forgotten in recent times. Berry Powerade ice cubes.

I was excited to drink my bottle of water today.

I bought a new Klean Kanteen the other day. It is to replace the wobbly no-name steel(ish) one I currently have.

We have set our Laughing Buddha up in the living room. I bought a rock with the "Namaste" symbol carved in it as well.

I also bought an eeny meeney Lucky Clover plant. It was so cute (and it's organic). :-)

Time Flies

2009-05-17T21:52:00.003-06:00

It's hard to believe my last post was in April. That just feels like ages ago.

Living with Maggie was an experience. It had its ups and downs; we learned a lot from it. A dog of our own is still in the future, but perhaps not the breed(s) we were originally thinking.

There are still boxes everywhere. I haven't been overly motivated as far as unpacking goes.

Jason finished the hardwood today. It looks fantastic. We're very happy with the wood we chose. We picked up a sample can of paint for the kitchen and living room today. Perhaps we'll get those on the wall tomorrow. I'm really curious to see how the colours will look. We're sticking with the original ones we picked: "Kelly Green" & "Mandarin Dream".

I will get some pictures up eventually.

The new TV we bought is pretty awesome. I didn't think I'd be that impressed with HD, but I am. And I definitely enjoy having a PVR. Although I still forgot to tape The Hills' this past week. Oops.

I got my hair cut the other night. This hairstylist knows exactly what she's doing - it looks great. Just above my shoulders, and I'm working towards the side-swept bangs. Very labour-intensive as I have to blow-dry and straighten and back-comb every morning, so we'll see how it goes. But not being able to put it up in a ponytail probably will be good for me. If nothing else, I've gotten a lot of compliments for having it down.

I've been ignoring the computer for the most part. A quick skim of e-mails and that's been about it. We have internet, but we haven't gotten a wireless router yet. Plus the office is still a mess of boxes.

We also have a landline now, with unlimited long distance in Canada and the US. So if you want the number, just ask.

Random Thoughts From a Late Night

2009-04-26T02:34:00.001-06:00

Today was weird – I felt really drained and unmotivated most of the day. There was an energy spurt around 6, but that didn't last long. Then I got super energetic around 10pm, and couldn't fall asleep. So from 12-2am I packed.

I know, I'm a total night owl.

I'm still feeling wired, hence they late post.

There's probably a few more items I could pack, but it'll be better when I can pack stuff from the bedroom too (I'm being nice, and not waking Jason up since he was pretty tired when he went to bed).

The smell of bleach brings back memories of Girl Guide camps. Weird, but I can handle good thoughts when cleaning the toilet.

Jason has finished putting floor in the eating area and kitchen. Tomorrow we'll be moving into the living room. Who knows, we might actually finish before the end of April.

Tomorrow is a day set aside for cleaning though: the fridge, the stove, the kitchen cupboards, the shower, the main floor bathroom. It'll be a great feeling to unpack the kitchen boxes though.

My camera has not been getting a lot of use lately. I would like to pull it out again, but I'm not going to hold my breath (I know how I've been lately).

I'm super excited to look after Maggie for a week. Maggie being Crystal's, a co-worker of mine, dog. She's a black lab/collie cross. Super cute. And cuddly.

The paint colours we've (tentatively) picked for the kitchen and living room are making me a bit worried. Maybe I just can't visualize it. Maybe they are too vibrant, and limiting in terms of furniture. I still have time to make a decision, but the more we wait, the more I wonder. Especially since all the decorating magazines show rooms that are paler colours.

Learning & Growing

2009-04-18T21:20:00.002-06:00

It has been a crazy, crazy week. I "switched dentists" at work. Which basically means I'm now the receptionist for the busiest dentist in the whole office. And I'm confident I can do it, it's just going to take a bit more time to get the hang of everything. There's so much to do, and there just doesn't seem to be enough time to do it in. I've stayed late a few days because I couldn't get away (and I still didn't finish everything before I did leave). I definitely felt more in control with my last dentist, so this is going to be a learning experience. It's just a matter of accepting that I'll never be truly caught up on everything (I've spoken with a previous receptionist for this dentist about how hectic it is), and that I just need to do my best, and then forget about it all at the end of the day.

Tomorrow Jason and I are back to the house. We're starting to lay hardwood now. He got a couple boards nailed down today, but I guess the bamboo is a lot harder to drill/cut than you would think by looking at it. Oh well, it's going to look great, so that's the most important thing.

I was able to wash the walls in the master bedroom and closet while Jason was out of town. I also vacuumed the upstairs (thanks Grandma & Grandpa!), and attempted to remove the stains (unfortunately to very little avail). Crystal came over the other night, and with some heavy lifting from Jason, we now have the beds, dressers, and a desk set up. The heavy moving is mostly over now. It's just all the boxes that have to make their way inside and our basement suite that has to be packed up and moved.

Hannah called me tonight. It was so great to talk to her. Yet one more friend I don't talk with enough. I'm really, really hoping that I'll make more of an effort to call people when I have my own landline.

But I'm off for a late night gathering at a friends. Cheerio!

Big News

2009-04-14T22:27:00.001-06:00

Guess what?!

Jason and I got engaged!

Very, very stoked.

It happened April 1st – I just had to tell the (majority of the) family before I said anything on here. As for Facebook, I'm waiting for Jason to confirm the relationship status update.

I absolutely love my ring. I'm very impressed.

So yeah.

We also moved all our stuff up from Calgary this past weekend. My parents were awesome – helped with all the packing (way more than I was expecting, so I'm definitely thankful).

The house is coming along very, very slowly. Most of the flooring on the main floor's been ripped up. There's still plenty of staples to be pulled before we can start laying the hardwood down though.

Jason's out of town for 3 days. I don't really like when he goes away, but at least 1 day is done.

Anyways, I'm up at 5:30, so it's off to bed. Ciao.

Happy Times

2009-04-02T22:15:00.001-06:00

Yesterday we got our house!!! I am super excited. This weekend I intend to start cleaning. Top to bottom. Well, maybe not anything too major in the basement seeing as there's nothing down there. But the main and upper floors for sure. Especially the fridge, stove, and cupboards. They're much too grimy for my liking.

Hopefully we can figure out "officially" what the wall colours and flooring types will be. I'm curious to see how everything is actually going to look in the space. A little nervous, as I'm not the greatest at visualising the end result, but mostly I'm just biting at the bit to get started on everything.

The weather is also warming up quite a bit. Meaning the snow is melting. It's insane how quickly it disappears. Especially since it's still below freezing at night, and only reaches +2 C during the day. Don't get me wrong, there's still lots of snow on the ground. But I can see the pavement when driving now (which also means I'm avoiding potholes constantly), and there's even grass showing itself in some places.

Our basement suite is a bit messy at the moment. Jason and I are both looking forward to having a bit more space, especially more functional space (ie. a coat closet, pantry, and office) with our own furniture. Finding a home for everything will be a lot easier. I'll no longer be keeping a box of food on the kitchen floor, and another on the spare bed. And we'll have a place for jackets to be hung up. Plus I'll have a desk for my computer stuff, so my end table and coffee table will be usable. Plus not walking down the street to get in my car every morning is only increasing my excitement.

Work has been going quite well. The office just increased their fees for everything by 10%, so I've been having to tell people that even if they have 100% coverage with their insurance, that they still owe a sizeable chunk of money for their visits. No one's complained a whole lot yet, although it probably helps I've learned how to word things so it's not quite as bad. My favourite phrase is "Your insurance covered everything except…$". It usually works too. I'm still quite amazed at the number of people who come in without cash, or a debit or credit card. Like, really?! I just don't really understand.

I am slowly becoming more and more of a fan of Office 2007. Like the themes – wow, they're so easy to work with. And there's no setup involved. Although the "ribbon-style" is still rather annoying, I'm learning where certain buttons are. I wish I had more reasons to play around with it. However, I keep coming up with different things to type up at work. Today I created a slightly different fax coversheet from the one used before – this one has the office logo rather instead of just the name.

My camera has not been getting much use lately. Even less than my computer has. I brought it out for mine and Jason's pizza picnic last night (at the new house, of course). But I haven't uploaded the few pictures I did take yet. Soon. Perhaps.

As you might have noticed, my list of favourite blogs has diminished. I simply do not come on the computer often enough to be reading 200+ posts in my reader. So I cut some of the superfluous blogs – ones that I'd only recently found, ones that I hardly read, ones that I didn't enjoy as much. The good news – if you have a blog, and you're still on my list – I still read your posts. Even if I never comment anymore. And I only read once a week or so.

I'm kind of hoping that I haven't lost all of my readers with my slowdown in posting. This is something I really, really, really want to fix once we're settled in the new place. And I know that is just an excuse. But really, I need to work on my commitment. Because I miss posting.

Sick, Sick, Sick

2009-03-14T20:05:00.002-06:00

I managed to catch "the cold" that has been going around my office for a few weeks. It started out as a sore throat and a bit of runny nose. That was the Thursday before this past one. By Saturday, my sinuses were becoming quite congested, although my nose was still rather runny. Monday I couldn't breathe through my nose at all, and I was coughing. I ended up taking Monday afternoon and all of Tuesday off of work so I could sleep and attempt to get better. It helped a bit. As of today, over a week later, I am slowly getting better with each day. I'm a bit congested still, but I can finally breathe semi-normally again. The cough has disappeared, although my throat is still a tiny bit sore. Hopefully I'll be completely rid of this thing by the end of next week. I really don't want to spend my birthday with this nasty thing.

Speaking of my birthday, Renita's having a party for us. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, and seeing some friends again. And yes, I'm actually considering some people "friends" now. It's pretty exciting. I have a feeling there will be lots of barbecues happening this summer.

At work this week I decided to take a form that we usually fill out by hand, and turn it into a form in Microsoft Word that does the calculations for you. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. Even if I'm the only one who'll ever use it. I happen to think it looks more "professional" when stuff is printed on the computer versus by hand. So I'm trying to do what I can on the computer - and make it more effective time-wise as well. The added benefit is that I'm playing around with Microsoft Office 2007, and I'm learning where everything is, and about the new features.

I haven't worked out at all lately. Being sick is not good for motivation. I'm still unsure about where I want to go. The Y is convenient, but I really dislike the facilities. And I'm not a Curves girl. I still the college has fantastic facilities, but it's a bit wasteful to be driving downtown after work everyday when home is in the opposite direction. I definitely miss hot yoga classes. If someone was to start a studio up here, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I keep saying I want to register for a workout class or yoga class of some kind, but the biggest dilemma is still the location.

I've been wearing heels to work a lot. It's becoming easier and easier to walk in them. And I love wearing the boots I bought when I was in Calgary. They're so comfy. Plus with all the snow, I don't end up with wet socks like I do with every other pair of shoes I own. Even my hiking boots are not that much of a deterrent with the amount of snow still left on the ground.

My hair has grown out enough that I can wear my bangs as I had originally wanted. I've done a couple quick trims by myself. It's not perfect, but I live with it. I'll be booking an appointment fairly soon though, as I still can't wear the rest of my hair down with the current cut. Hopefully this time I end up with a stylist who knows what they're doing.

I'm going to bed earlier, and finding it easier to get up in the mornings now. I think it helps that I usually wake up when Jason comes in to get dressed right before he leaves, as that's close to when my alarms go off. It hasn't been as much of a struggle since I stopped watching as much tv. Turning it off in the middle of show was just too hard to do, and if I started even a bit of the one after, I got sucked in.

I like how I get to drive to and from work in daylight now. And I'm really looking forward to experiencing a northern summer.

An Update of the Week

2009-03-04T19:57:00.003-07:00

Over a week has passed since my last post. I'm definitely finding that I'm spending way less time on the computers after work. I'm also watching less TV. All because I finally got a stack of novels from the library, and I have rediscovered my inner bookworm.

Nothing overly exciting or special happened during the remainder of last week. Sad, but true.

We went over to Richard and Renita's on Saturday night for steak and drinks. It was a total blast. Food was super yummy, and the company was great. I met Jason's boss and his family, plus a former employee and her family. The kids were adorable!

Sunday was a lazy day. Went to see Brad at Earl's for brunch, then ended up spending the afternoon doing nothing. Always a good choice.

Monday Jason was flown to Edmonton for a work conference. He came back Tuesday. I had Monday off work, so I spent the day running some errands around town. Including going grocery shopping for yummy food. Like chicken spring rolls. I am so addicted right now. I might have to go buy more tomorrow. I also bought some Taco Bites as I've been craving some taquitos from 7-11 a lot lately. They were a pretty big letdown though.

That's pretty much the extent of my life right now. Our realtor comes back from wherever he went this week, so we're looking at houses on Friday. Hopefully we'll hear back from the bank by then. We're also going to a work dinner tomorrow night at one of the fanciest restaurants in town. I believe Jason ordered both of us steak and lobster. I'm looking forward to it, not to mention hanging out with different people than I see usually.

What a Night

2009-02-23T23:32:00.001-07:00

Tonight, Jason is out of town on a business trip.
I really wanted a hug.

Tonight, I went to get my hair cut.
The stylist screwed up. My bangs are crooked. I'm scared of fixing them more than I have, in case I screw them up even more. She didn't do a good job on the rest of it either, but at least it's not noticeable in a ponytail. Thanks for wasting my money.

Tonight, I ate a bag of rice chips for dinner.
I wanted to cook; I don't know what stopped me. I'm still hungry.

Tonight, I got frustrated about the mess.
It's everywhere. Mostly my fault. I haven't been motivated.

Tonight, the frustration turned into mega frustration.
So I cleaned. I washed dishes. I emptied the crap from the fridges. I wiped all the random dirt and hairs and other gross stuff out of the fridges (I did that 1 1/2 months ago too…where did it come from?!). I got the trash ready for garbage day tomorrow. I put clean clothes away. I cleared space on the table. I wiped down the bathroom. I put all the towels in the laundry bin.

Tonight, it's almost over.
There's still so much I want to do. But it's already late.

Tonight, I'm sleeping with all my teddy bears again. I'm hogging all the blankets, guilt-free. I'm going to sleep in the middle of the bed. And fall asleep to music from speakers, rather than headphones.

Home Again

2009-02-22T22:07:00.001-07:00

I went back home to Calgary for the long weekend. It was definitely worth the 10-12 hours on the bus/in the bus station each way. However, I will not go far as to say that time was overly enjoyable. Those seats are rather uncomfortable, especially when you're attempting to catch a full night's rest on them. I arrived in Calgary with a pinched nerve in my neck, and a numb left hand.

Despite the fact that we arrived on Valentine's Day, Jason and I did not spend any time together this weekend other than on the bus, and a meal when we first arrived and another right before we left. It was a weekend to do our own thing.

Unfortunately for Jason, that involved getting food poisoning. Poor guy.

Jill and I went shopping. Gah! So much fun. I bought a pair of flats, a pair of super comfy boots, a sweater dress, some tights, my first pair of skinny jeans, a pair of skate shoes, and a gorgeous purse. Oh, and 2 more lip studs, a new bellybutton bar, plus foot cream and body butter from the Body Shop.

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My computer decided to stop working while I was writing the above post, so I never got around to putting on my blog. So I'll just continue it…5 days later.

Jason got me an early birthday present. It's an electric blanket. I'm in love with it. So warm. And fuzzy. Definitely a fantastic choice on Jason's part. He knows how cold I always am, especially around our basement.

Today I'm feeling very frustrated with the overall lack in our basement. The lack of counter space. The lack of adequate storage. The lack of a real fridge. The lack of options. I just want to have my own space. Where I can put in the furniture and shelving that suits my needs. Where the counter space isn't non-existent. Where I can do laundry any day of the week. Where I can leave my shoes at the door. And park a matter of steps from my front door.

The past couple of weeks I've been watching less tv, spending more time reading, and barely going on my computer. Hence the reduced blog posts. And blog comments on other blogs. I'll do my best to keep posting on a regular basis, even if not as often.

It's a Sad Day…

2009-02-09T22:39:00.001-07:00

…because my fish Jengo died. I don't really know why, and I wasn't even expecting it. I just thought he was going through one of his lethargic periods (of which he's had many). As late as last night he was swimming energetically around his bowl in between periods of sleeping in his plant.

Work went really well today. There's lots to learn about being up front, but I'm looking forward to all of it. It seems relatively straight-forward for the most part, so it's going to be a matter of remembering the first step, and (theoretically) all the remaining steps will follow automatically.

I can't wait to go shopping in Calgary. (Jill, please don't let me down). I really want a new pair of flats and heels for work. And a new purse. And potentially a pair of work pants that's long enough to go with the heels. I'd be super happy if I could get some (if not all) of these on sale. *fingers crossed*

Small Hiatus

2009-02-08T21:55:00.002-07:00

I've had some slight problems with internet (aka NONE!) since my landlords went on vacation. So my blogging has suffered. But I'm back now.

Jason and I went snowboarding yesterday. It was a lot of fun. We're hoping to go most, if not every, weekend until the end of the season.

Tomorrow I move from the back to the front of the dental clinic. I'm excited. It also means I'll go to working 8-5, instead of later shifts.

We're going back to Calgary next weekend. First visit back home since I've moved up here. I'm looking forward to it.

Yet Another Change

2009-01-28T22:59:00.001-07:00

I'm being rather indecisive about my blog background this month. I really want to design my own, but it's not very high on my To Do list. Eventually. I hope.

I'm sleeping much better at night now. I started turning my music (on my iPod) up louder, so I can't hear any noises Jason makes. Problem solved. :-)

Tomorrow I'm starting earlier, and therefore ending earlier. That extra hour with Jason will be super nice.

At work today, I wore some high heels. I got compliments, no reprimands. Looks like I can get some use out of my shoe collection after all.

Untitled

2009-01-27T23:36:00.001-07:00

I worked today. It went well.

Jason and I watched Iron Chef America tonight. We both suddenly became very hungry.

I'm going to bed now. I plan on cuddling with Jason so I can borrow some body heat. :-)

Oh, and Lovely Lady with the Crazy Cats, I apologize, but I have yet to start your letter. Although, I blame you for setting the standards high with 5 pages (not that I'm complaining – it was a fantastic read).

Tomorrow I might wear some high heels to work.

Lots Done, Lots Left To Do

2009-01-26T23:40:00.001-07:00

I had today off work. I even managed to get a bunch of things done on my to do list. Actually, I felt like I accomplished a lot today. However, I feel like I have tons left to do.

Tomorrow is laundry day. Only having 2 days to do laundry is turning into a logistical nightmare with our schedule. We can only get 2 loads done a night – 3 if we put in one that doesn't need to go in the dryer. Jason needs to have all of his stuff washed both days. That alone makes me happy I have as many clothes as I do. If I miss a week of laundry, I'm still ok. Not in great shape for a full work week, but it's doable. So tomorrow morning, I have to get up, sort the laundry, write out instructions, and then get ready for work. If I'm up early enough, I can put a load in before I go to work.

I wish we had more space. Then I could hang up the majority of the clothes to dry like I did when living with my parents. We could get 3 or 4 loads done a night that way. Really, it's the dryer (well, the signal at the end of the cycle) that's causing the most problems. We're trying not to wake the baby upstairs if we can help it. And that buzzer is L-O-U-D.

I'm finding I really need to plan ahead for everything. Which is a habit I'm still trying to form. So I'm going to get Jason to sort his dirty laundry before it goes in a hamper like I do with mine. He didn't want to before, but I'm sick of sorting his laundry every laundry day. We don't have the time to do our clothes separately, and I refuse to throw all my clothes together in one load (regardless of colour, material, etc). I'm thinking I will put instructions on the individual hampers too, then I can just leave a list of what goes on in what order. :-)

Tonight, I did 15 minutes of dishes. I didn't finish. And I'm okay with that. I wasn't going to do any, but then they just pile up. Actually, I'm amazed that we use the amount of dishes that we do. That sink fills up so fast, and the counters even faster. Anyways, I said I'd do 15 minutes, get what I could done, and be happy with that. And I cleared up enough space to put the dish drainer down so I didn't have to dry.

That dish drainer is rather annoying though. It's incredibly flimsy, and it doesn't really work well with the plates and bowls we have. Perhaps I shouldn't complain since I didn't have to buy it, but if it was a bit better designed, and had a utensil cup, I think it would make doing dishes that much easier.

I'm finding it really hard to go to bed early. After Jason goes to bed between 9:30 and 10, I just feel like there's so much that still needs to be done. And I'd say it's definitely one of my more productive times. I'm not very motivated to do anything when I get up in the morning, and after work, I just want to sit back and relax for a bit. I've been trying to develop new routines, but nothing seems to work. I get less done, or I absolutely hate doing it (rather than not really minding at all). Honestly, doing dishes the other night right after dinner was anything but enjoyable, while doing them tonight at 10:30pm wasn't a big deal at all. I wouldn't have minded finishing them actually, I just wanted to get some other stuff done too.

Living on my own is great, but you begin to realize just how much there is to be done. And I have to say, I enjoy cooking a lot less than I did before I moved out (which wasn't all that much). Whenever I go to the grocery store, I'm always looking for cheap meals that require little work. Tonight I made chicken with pasta and sauce. I wanted pasta for a change. But the half hour it took was just way too much. Last night I had a PB&J wrap. 5 minutes of prep, and just as enjoyable.

I'm definitely not eating a whole lot of fruit or veggies. I'll throw some peppers into a dish when I can. Or slice up some cucumbers on a plate (which I really like eating actually). But that's about it. I bought a head of lettuce – but most of it went bad because I don't have a swirly dryer thing, and I'm just too lazy to figure out another way to wash and dry it. I've been trying to drink some V8 V-Fusion every day – with a serving of fruit and a serving of vegetables, I figure it's better than nothing. If there were decent fresh strawberries or fresh raspberries I'd probably be eating a lot of those, but it's the wrong season. There just aren't that many fruits or veggies that require little preparation that I like eating. And while I've looked for frozen veggies, there's not a lot of room in the freezer, and the stores where I've been haven't had any edible (by my standards at least) mixes.

That's my rant/confession.

Open House Hunting

2009-01-26T00:29:00.001-07:00

Jason and I went on an open house drive after brunch this morning. Well technically, brunch was followed by a trip to the mall for me to try on shoes, but since I didn't buy any (I plan on ordering some online though to get my colour preference now that I know they fit), it's not worth much of a mention.

So, back to open houses. We decided to stop into a few houses, just to see what you really can get for you money. Pictures on the MLS website just aren't very helpful. The first house (a bungalow, ~1080 sq. ft., built 1970s) was in a great location. And the list price was lower than we expected (aka potentially in our range). It had a nice-sized lot, with a double heated garage out back – plenty of room for both our vehicles and storage. Inside, the upstairs was in great condition, with the only real downside being the small bedrooms. Even if we wanted to start knocking down walls, there wasn't much room for any real improvement. The basement was pretty bad. It looked like they threw a bunch of walls up just to get it suitable for renters. Horrible design, complete waste of space. Jason and I both agreed that we'd want to rip it all down and start over. It did have a separate entrance though, so that was nice.

The realtor was great to talk with. She answered all our questions (and then some), and seemed pretty honest.

We drove around to look at 7 or 8 more, but didn't go in as one look at the house was all it took to know it was out of our price range. There was one that might have been affordable, however it was one of the ugliest houses we've ever seen.

The second house was amazing. A 2-storey, ~1250 sq. ft, and built 2006. It had a great main floor – open concept living room to eating area and kitchen with gorgeous dark-coloured laminate floors (that were continued upstairs and downstairs as well). The second floor was interesting in that there was a hallway from the stairs to the hallway where the bedrooms were. The 2 bedrooms were a nice size, and the master bedroom had plenty of room for bed, furniture, and maybe even a chair. I loved the closet. In the basement, it was really well planned. No wasted space at all. There was a living area, a gorgeous laundry room with cabinet-space, and a powder room. The biggest downside to the house was the lack of true storage space – only a narrow room running under the stairs. There was a deck off the eating area in the kitchen, and a decent yard. No garage, only 'parking stalls' off the back alley. However, many of the neighbours have them, so it would be entirely doable (and still have some yard leftover. Price-wise it was cheaper than the other place too.

This realtor was also pretty great. He had included mortgage pricing in the little info pack he gave us, which I thought was helpful. After talking to us, he said he'd e-mail us some other listings within our price range. And that he'd have no problems showing us any houses we'd be interested in, even if we don't plan on buying until the spring. He followed up with that e-mail too, and there's a couple houses that look promising. He also got his 'bank contact' to give us a call, and she's willing to help us look at the finance side of things now too.

It was interesting to see that Jason and I share many of the same opinions about what we want or don't want in a house. Probably a good thing, and hopefully this will make our eventual decision a bit easier.

It's kind of scary to even be thinking about buying a house. It seems like such a 'grown-up' thing to do. Although I definitely would rather pay a mortgage than pay rent.

But I am staying up too late, for a third night in a row. So I'm going to go get ready for bed. Then I will sit in bed and study. That's right, it is 'highly recommended' that I read the notes from a dental terminology course. So I may as well start while I wait for sleep to come. Bonne nuit!

Perhaps a Change?

2009-01-25T02:35:00.001-07:00

I am thinking of getting bangs. It's been a while since I've had them. A long while. Back then, I didn't like them too much because I had to 'style' them everyday. However, I'm blow-drying my hair almost every single day now (and if I don't, it means I'm not leaving the house). It's too cold outside not to. Besides, I want a change. And I'm not going to cut it short again (mistake). And although I would like to get it dyed again, it won't be anything major – maybe more chocolate brown, maybe some caramel highlights or blocks.

Here's what I have in mind. Thoughts?

Lots of layers from the chin down. It will still go up in my usual ponytail, but it will also look great down without any fuss. As for the bangs, I'd cut them a bit shorter so they wouldn't cover my eyes.

I like the bangs better here. Still a bit longer than I'd ask for.

Sense of Accomplishment

2009-01-23T00:11:00.001-07:00

I've actually been doing 'work' at work. Not just sitting around writing notes about how to do everything. Or awkwardly muddling my way through booking an appointment while my trainer looks on. I'm booking appointments by myself, with little to no help. I'm calling patients that are due back, and booking them in, and sending overdue notices. I'm going through the files, and clearing out the old and inactive ones. The past couple of days have gone by much faster. Plus I'm feeling fairly confident, and am asking questions about how to deal with abnormalities rather than how to do the basic things.

The downside to my later shifts is that I haven't spent a lot of time with my Jason. Even though he's been going to the gym after work, I've still been getting home later than him. He's had dinner ready and all the dishes done for me a few times. It makes me feel slightly guilty for not doing the same when he was working and I wasn't.

The lack of spare time in the evenings means I'm falling behind on my blog reading again. Although I have managed to cross a few things off my To Do list, which I didn't do once during my time without a job. Very weird.

As a side note, I have white tips on all my nails. Why should you care? Well, you don't really need to. I'm just excited because my nails usually break, are bitten, or are cut before they reach the white tip stage. So I put an clear bottom coat on today, and hopefully can get some polish and a top coat on this weekend. Enjoy the length as long as I can.

Just So You Know

2009-01-20T22:57:00.001-07:00

My second shift went well. I'm already feeling comfortable in the office, and with the people. Everyone is really nice. I'm picking up on stuff quickly (even more quickly than I expected even). And I think I might be on the way to making a new friend. Yay!

It's time to fold some laundry and hit the sack though. Good night.

First Day

2009-01-19T23:18:00.001-07:00

I started at the dental clinic today. As far as first days go, it wasn't anything overly special. I was learning the computer program more than anything. It seems fairly straight forward, and semi-similar to the one used at the vet clinic. The girls that work in the front seem really nice, and it sounds like it's going to be an enjoyable experience. I was quickly introduced to most of the 'other' staff, but there's no way I can put a face with the names yet.

This week I'm going to be working later shifts (off at 7:30 tomorrow and Wednesday, and 6:30 Thursday and Friday). Which will theoretically change once I'm done training. Not that I'm too worried. Jason bought a gym pass, and is going on his way home from work. It's actually a great plan – he gets to miss most (if not all) of the rush hour traffic this way. Much more effective use of time.

I'm holding off on buying a pass until I have a more set schedule. I also need to go check out the YMCA that's on the way to/from my work. The college gym was so nice though, so I'm a little worried I won't like it. But if that's the way to avoid rush hour traffic, then so be it. I'll make it work, whichever gym I choose.

I'm also trying to let go of my old habits and routines, and make ones that fit my new life and situation. Like staying up late. This is a hard one, but I'm working on getting ready for bed sooner, and going into the bedroom to read (until I'm tired, as late as that may be) instead of staying in the living room watching tv or being on my computer. Another big one is the desire to have a clean and empty sink. I hate doing dishes. And I think Jason feels the same. So the dishes only get done every two to three days. (Sorry Mom & Dad). At least we know that when the house hunting time comes, a dishwasher (or room to put one) is high up on the 'like to have' list, borderline on the 'need to have'.

What a Day

2009-01-17T18:32:00.001-07:00

It's not even 6pm yet, and Jason and I have already packed a lot into our day. Even with sleeping in until 10am. Days like this are awesome.

The weather continues to be awesome, so we took full advantage and went for a walk on some nearby trails. This was our first time trying out the trails, and we were both impressed. They go in between the communities in a forested creek area. So peaceful. We both want to try out cross-country skiing on them. The ski club that maintains the trail offers lessons on Saturdays, and you can use their equipment. Unfortunately there's no place to rent skis in the city (that we've heard of at this point at least), so we have to go on club-only outings unless we want to buy our own.

After the walk, we went to the gym. OMG, the gym at the college has some of the nicest facilities I have ever seen. And I went in with some pretty high expectations. All the cardio machines have individual televisions. So cool. There's also a running track (which makes Jason happy). I quite enjoyed the many machines they had. I've never seen some of them before, like the tricep extension or abdominal crunch. But oh man, did I have fun. I always forget how much I love working out until I'm there.

We ate dinner when we got home from the gym. At 4pm. Jason had his classic tomato soup and rice. I went for triscuit crackers with melted cheese and spinach dip. Oh, and cucumbers with salt and pepper. So yummy. Tonight we're going to watch 'Get Smart'.

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Finally, the picture proof of Jason's 'stache

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A really cool close-up of our blanket (taken by Jason – the amazing photographer, at least in comparison to me).

Speck.

Jengo.

Jason listening to his tunes.

Jason's eye.

Off to sushi.

Rush hour traffic – headed in the opposite direction.

Jason the Fighter.

Our tea cups.

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PS – I've updated my 'Blogs I Adore' list. Took a couple off, added a few.

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PPS – Jill, I miss have you as a workout buddy.

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Lazy Friday

2009-01-16T23:30:00.001-07:00

Today Jason didn't have to work.

So today, we lazed in bed.

Until 1pm.

Over my breakfast, we talked about going to the gym.

Made plans to start working out regularly.

Get fit, and ripped, and look great.

Then Jason showered.

He went in with a beard.

And came out with a moustache.

I said "No way".

As I laughed.

And as Jason laughed.

He went and shaved it off.

I showered.

We decided to go for sushi for dinner.

It was amazing.

Dinner was followed by Walmart then Superstore.

We got groceries.

The workout plans have been pushed back to tomorrow.

Tonight we watched 'Dragon: A Bruce Lee Story'.

And I fed Jason jelly beans.

Now it's bed time.

So, good night.

The Temperature is Rising

2009-01-15T20:41:00.001-07:00

When I left the house today, I actually said "It's warm out today" to myself. Up until this point, the warmest it's been is –19C. It was
–12C this afternoon though, and it's supposed to reach +5C by Sunday. Woot, woot. Which is perfect timing, since Jason has Friday off.

I start my job on Monday. Finally. I was getting rather impatient waiting for the call, and ended up calling them myself on Tuesday and yesterday. Turns out they thought they'd called me already. Anyways, that issue is cleared up. Now it's a matter of figuring out what my schedule will be like the rest of the week. Being the type of person that I am, it's a bit annoying not being able to make plans (even what little ones I have to make right now).

My Google Reader list is down to 127. It's been up around 170ish for the past week, so it's a really great feeling to be slowly catching up. Not that I'm rushing or anything. Most definitely not. Reading everything is the fun part.

For tonight I plan on catching up on more blogs, reading the new episode of Flare, and playing Sudoku on my iPod. Oh, and watching a movie with Jason when he wakes up from his nap.

I took this picture because I needed a picture of something, and didn't have anything else. That's how

Jason is adapting to my blogging I think. He used to 'read' all my posts before we lived together (meaning they were
e-mailed to him automatically, and he scanned through them first thing in the mornings). Now I keep asking him if he wants to write a post. Or if he has a comment he'd like me to add from him. The answer is always "no". Do not fear though, I shall keep asking.

Oh, wait. He says "Jay doesn't blog". That's enough for me.

Well, I've got nothing else to write for now. Maybe someone should 'tag' me. Give me something to write about.

It's Delurking Time

2009-01-14T16:28:00.001-07:00

While scouring the blogosphere today, I found out that it's Delurking Day.

Other blogs are sticking with Delurking Week.

Either way, it's exciting.

So what exactly is delurking? According to Net Lingo:
delurking: slang for coming out of online "lurking mode"; and
to lurk: to read messages on a blog without ever replying yourself

Which means, if you are reading this (whether today, tomorrow, or even next year), you should leave a comment. It really doesn't matter what you say. I'm just curious about the people who read my blog. SiteMeter gives me the statistics – how many people stop by, where they're from, how long they stay, etc. But that's just so…impersonal.

And guess what?! You don't need an account or a blog to leave a comment! Honestly. I can walk you through step-by-step. (If you already know how, just skip ahead.)

1. Go to the bottom of the post click on 'Comments'.

2. This will open a pop-up window. Type your comment in the box.

3. Then click on the little circle beside 'Name/URL'.

6. Type in your name.

6. Click on 'Publish Your Comment'.

7. You may be asked to do word verification.

That's it. Very, very easy.

Happy Delurking!

Short and Sweet

2009-01-12T22:55:00.001-07:00

- My day was rather boring today.
- Jason has decided that hot sauce is the new ketchup.
- There's a snowfall warning in FMM tonight.
- The City was on tonight: I like it way less than The Hills, but I can't stop watching.
- Still waiting to hear back about a start date from the dental clinic.
- Hopefully tomorrow something interesting will happen.

A Simple Sunday

2009-01-11T22:57:00.001-07:00

My sleep wasn't very good last night. I couldn't fall asleep, then I kept waking up and couldn't fall back asleep, and finally I was so uncomfortable I ended up moving to the couch. That whole drama left me pretty tired, and with a sore lower back. Always great fun.

We went for brunch at Earl's once again. It was a tradition Jason started before I arrived, and something we will most likely continue. Jason and Brad enjoy "visiting" with each other (albeit across a bar), and we get a hot meal without making it ourselves. Nothing to complain about, that's for sure. Today was a French Toast day for me, and another Egg's Benedict day for Jason.

After eating, and relaxing for a bit, we went to the library. I was constantly comparing FMM's library to Calgary's, and they balance each other out in the end. Although I continue to be surprised in the areas that FMM edges out Calgary. The shelves are a bit messy order-wise, and I don't understand some of the cataloguing, but there was a good selection. Even Jason managed to find a book (and he doesn't usually enjoy reading).

It was off to Mark's Work Wearhouse to get some more long underwear for Jason (luckily we were able to find his size, as those shelves were almost bare), then we hit up Safeway for some groceries. It was pretty busy and picked over, so I think grocery shopping might involve a bit more strategic planning in the future (ie. either Jason and I going on a weekday, or first thing Saturday morning). We were able to get what we needed though, so that's all that really matters in the end.

The rest of the afternoon was spent curled up on the couch with a hot drink reading. Very peaceful, and very relaxing. Dinner was soup for Jason and cereal for myself. Easy and satisfying. Jason did some yoga, I played a few games of Solitaire, we watched a bit of TV and that was about it for our weekend.

Tomorrow is back to work for Jason, and I will hopefully get a call from my new job about when I get to start. Hope you had a great weekend!

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Some pictures from last night…

Jason curled up on the couch…

Watching TV and napping away…

He's ignoring me here…

And here…

The computer set-up I had – Jason's mac for listening to Nickelback's new album, and my Dell (and wireless keyboard/mouse) for catching up on my blog reading. The Kleenex and lotion were necessary for the running nose and dry hands that have been plaguing me lately.

Such a cutie…

And to end it all – me, making faces at myself in the mirror, and capturing it on camera.

Wide Load on Road

2009-01-10T22:03:00.001-07:00

Today Jason and I went for a drive. After a stop at Tim's for breakfast of course. I'm not very impressed with 2 of their staff members – the ones that make the sandwiches. They just don't seem to understand the meaning of working quickly, even when there's a line up of people waiting. It was the same staff, and the same situation last time I went in too. Maybe if they weren't talking with each other, I'd be a bit more forgiving. Much too frustrating to watch them though, so I waited in the car while Jason waited for our food.

On the way to Tim's.

Jason being Jason – always making faces.

We drove out to the local ski hill first. It actually looks like a decent hill – bigger than COP with lots of trees like all the mountains have. Definitely still a hill, but they have freestyle features including a halfpipe, and what looks to be a fun tube park. Both of us are pretty excited to give the hill, and the tubing, a try.

After that we drove around one of the communities on the south side of town that Jason would like to buy a house in. There are some nice places there, although I'm not a huge fan of the location since you have to drive through/past the industrial area to get to anything (ie. grocery store, gas station). Plus then my job would be on the opposite side of town. Getting a house is still a few months (in Jason's mind) to many more months (in my mind) away, so I'm not too worried.

Then we trekked north of the city towards the oil sands. We encountered a HUGE wide load on the way. It was insane! 2 semis pulling, and 4 pushing.

This was it turning left across the highway. It's "entourage" took up both sides of the highway (2 lanes + full shoulders each side) and the whole ditch in the middle.

Just to put it in perspective – those green circles happen to be people standing up.

A close up of the 4 semis pushing.

Just a view of the road, and forests, on the way back to FMM.

For dinner we went to Boston Pizza with Renita and Richard. Renita got a new job this week too, so we were celebrating. It was great to see them again.

Jason says "Hi" from his current spot on the couch. Hope you're having a great weekend!

PS – I am planning on responding to all the e-mails and Facebook messages/comments. Honestly.

PPS – My new camera is awesome! Thanks again Mom & Dad.

Picture Post!

2009-01-09T22:18:00.001-07:00

These are my cozy slippers!!! I wear them almost constantly around the suite to keep my toes warm.

Jason playing with the camera.

The Living/Dining Room

The couch, and the door to our bedroom.

The dining room table, which we've only eaten 2 meals at so far since I was using it as my computer station for the job hunt. Now my computer area has been moved to the back corner (on a box). So if I want the big monitor (or dual monitors) set-up, it's easy to do. Mostly I just use my laptop on the couch. Or now, I'm at the table with my wireless keyboard.

Here's another look at the dining room table and computer set-up. We don't use the chair very much, although it is rather comfy. The end table holds A LOT: phone, alarm clock (which I use to listen to the radio, and tell the time), all sorts of munchies, Kleenex, hand lotion, a cup of pens, paper….and currently some nail polish that I keep meaning to put on.

This is our entertainment centre, with yoga prop storage to the side. I really like all the storage. Jengo and Speck are back in their big homes, and now have Buddha to keep them company. The TV is small-ish, but it's enough for us.

The Bedroom

Here's the bed our bed and nightstands. We took the pillows and duvet from the spare bedroom to add to ours. It's super cozy.

That whole dresser is mine. :-) I use it (and the chair that all my teddy bears sit) to do my hair/make-up now. Having all that space on top to spread out is really nice. The hanging thing on the right side is Jason's - that's all he has for clothes! The rest of the closet is mine (well, we share the floor space).

Finally…A Job!

2009-01-08T22:25:00.001-07:00

The frustration of the job hunt is finally over. I had my second interview with the dental clinic today, and they called back to offer me a job. It pays more than they thought in the first interview (this second one was with the dentist who actually owns the practice – and therefore who controls the money), which was a bit of a concern. Not anymore though! This is going to be a huge learning experience by the sounds of it, but I'm looking forward to the challenge. Plus the clinic is extremely close to our current place, so I get to avoid most of the traffic. I'm not sure when my first shift will be yet, but I'm hoping for sooner rather than later.

I was able to pretty much finish the unpacking of all the little things today. It feels good. I'll take some pictures of the living/dining room and our bedroom tomorrow.

Since I've finished unpacking, I'm planning on catching up on all my blog reading (243 posts left to be read at the moment) and responding to all the e-mails and Facebook messages that have been stockpiling. So a response is coming, albeit a bit slower than I would have liked. Sorry.

For now I'm going to go munch on some more Jelly Bellies, have a cup of green tea, and snuggle with my Jason on the couch. Good night!

The First Week

2009-01-05T23:16:00.001-07:00

It's hard to believe that I've been in Fort McMurray for over a week now. The time has gone by so quickly looking back, and yet seems to pass so slowly during the days. I'm definitely at the point where I just want the job hunt to be over and to actually be working. Puttering around with "nothing" to do is very, very low on the entertainment value list.

"Nothing" isn't really an accurate term, as I could be doing more job hunting, or putting away all the miscellaneous items that I've left in boxes, or even doing some yoga or knitting. However, today was really one of those days where I just didn't have the motivation to do anything.

Last night wasn't so great as far as sleeping goes. I went to bed at 10pm with Jason (which happens to be very early in comparison to my Calgary bedtime), and I tossed and turned until around midnight. Then I had a restless sleep, obviously woke up when Jason got up at 5am, and finally managed to get a decent hour or so until my alarm went off at 7am. Granted, I am in a new bed, in a new environment – but it's a comfy bed, and I even brought my teddy bears to cuddle with!

Tonight I'm staying up a bit later to hopefully eliminate the wait before I fall asleep. Fingers crossed it works.

I remembered to take my camera with me on Sunday. So I shall finish this post of with some pictures. I even added in a few of some of the rooms in our new place – I'll add the remaining rooms once I've cleaned them up a bit more. :-)

This was me attempting to pull out one of those adjustable shelf-holding plugs. You know what I mean….

Some of the MANY trees that you see when driving around the city. They're everywhere (well, other than in the middle of downtown, but even then, they aren't far away)!

Jason driving.

Jason watching the football game at Earl's.

Our friendly neighbourhood bartender…aka my part-time Fort McMurray tour guide…aka Brad. :-)

Just me testing out the zoom feature on my camera. Aren't those glasses stacked so prettily?

Self portrait by Brad.

Brad and Jason found this picture much too funny.

Jason made stir fry in our new wok. (Thanks again Mom & Dad!)

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AND FINALLY…

The Spare Bedroom

This room is just off the bottom of the stairs when entering the suite.

We're using it to hang our coats, store our non-wet shoes (well, mainly my shoes), and to store our recycling "facilities".

The recycling "facilities" consist of a box on the floor for cans, milk jugs, and glass; a bag on the front of the door for cardboard and paper; and a bag on the back of the door for bottles and such. There's also a container on the other side of the door for all our plastic bags.

The Kitchen

The kitchen is at the very foot of the stairs, and is split into two sections.

There's not a lot of storage space. And we only have 2 bar fridges (with a small freezer on one of them). So space is a bit tight, but so far we're doing well.

We don't have a stove, but with the aforementioned electric wok from my parents, as well as the microwave, hot plate, toaster over, toaster, and kettle that came with the place, it's working quite well for us.

The sink is only a single one, but we have a super amazing dishwand thing. Well, I think it's super amazing, but then again, I've never used one before. You put the soap in the handle, and then you don't need to fill the sink with water to get effective cleaning. Wow!

The Bathroom

As far as bathrooms go, I quite like ours. On the wall opposite there's a towel bar and a fairly spacious linen closet. I got some pink grapefruit hand soap, and a Mandarin Green Tea Air Wick Night Light to make the room smell fantastic. There's not a lot of counter space, but I've decided to do my hair and make-up in our bedroom (as you will see in a future post), so that's not really an issue.

A New Year and Some New Beginnings

2009-01-03T23:18:00.001-07:00

First off, I would like to say Happy New Year!!!

I know, it's a tad bit late. I've been busy though. New Year's Eve Jason and I went over to his co-worker's place. We met a whole group of people, including a few Newfies that were next to impossible to understand. We went back New Year's Day for a lunch of roast beef, cod and halibut. Yummy!

Yesterday we moved into our suite. This was my first time seeing it, and I really like it. There's lots of space. I find it quite entertaining – Jason has a small hanging shelf in the closet full of his clothes, and I have the rest of the closet, and an entire dresser. :-) Unpacking has been a relatively slow process for me though. I'm trying to figure out the best spot for everything before I put it away so I don't have to move things around after. I'm down to 3 boxes though, all of which are mostly computer paraphernalia. I will be posting pictures soon.

Speck and Jengo are swimming happily in their temporary homes. I got them some little glass bowls from the dollar store. They weren't looking very healthy in the plastic ice cream containers I had them in before. Having me for an owner they have learned to be troopers though. Fortunate for them.

I had a job interview today at a dental clinic for a front desk position. It was interesting as far as interviews go since I wasn't asked very many questions. Hopefully I get called back for a second interview, as it sounds pretty good. There's still room for improvement though, so on Monday I will pass out some more resumes.

My parents gave me a new camera for Christmas (among other wonderful things). It's theoretically Mandy-proof – drop proof, water proof, freeze proof… I am looking forward to taking lots of pictures, I just need to recreate the habit.

But it's time for bed. Adios!

It's Been Hectic

2008-12-29T11:51:00.002-07:00

Well I survived the trek to Fort McMurray. My first impression of the city is a good one. It's really pretty with trees everywhere. It also seems relatively small for a city (at least compared to Calgary), which will be nice for a change. We'll see what I think once I get stuck in rush hour. :-s

For now, we're staying in Jason's rented room. The house is so messy. Yuck. I'm really looking forward to moving into our suite. It will be nice to have our own space. And to unpack. I usually travel relatively neatly (everything gets put back in my bag when not in use), but this trip I've been really messy. And mess equals stress for me.

Today I am feeling really lazy. I dislike job hunting on the best of days. I also need to go grocery shopping since Jason doesn't have any food that I want to eat. I'm a picky eater. I know it, I admit it, and I'm not ashamed. Hopefully my car will start though. Jason couldn't get it to start this morning when he left for work. It's warmed up a bit now (to a balmy -29 C or -38 C with wind chill) though.

I'm going to keep it short today. It's taken far too long to write what little I have already. Hopefully I can get back into posting on a regular basis again. I also need to catch up on all the blogs I followed. If nothing else, it will give me something to do until I get settled and start to meet people.

Long Overdue Visit

2008-12-19T01:19:00.001-07:00

Tonight was absolutely fantastic. Why? Because I got to see my friend Kaylee! We haven't seen each other in two years. Which is insane to think about, but life does that sometimes.

You know you have something special when that much time can pass and you can get together and it's a continuation of what you had before. We talked for 3 hours. About everything.

I shipped a couple boxes up to Jason today. Just random stuff. Like my yoga blocks, yarn for my next knitting project, some picture frames, some dvds, and a bunch of hangers. Stuff that I want/need, but not necessarily right away.

I also officially withdrew from SAIT. So that chapter of my life is complete. Which means, yes, I am rid of that disgusting laptop that never seemed to work quite right. And I am happy to report, my "new" laptop is working wonderfully. :-) I'm playing around with some of the features still, but it's coming together nicely.

My room looks a bit like a war zone at the moment. I have odds and ends strewn everywhere. Hopefully tomorrow I can get most of it sorted and put away. I need to before I can easily access the clothes in my closet! I keep planning on packing my clothes, but have packed other stuff instead. Tomorrow is my last packing day though, so it's not really an option anymore. It shouldn't take too long to do though. Theoretically.

A Letter from the Past

2008-12-17T23:42:00.001-07:00

My friend Jill wrote this for me back in high school. I found it while packing today. It made me smile, brought back some memories, and reminded me of all I aspired to be back then (which sadly, I've lost – but at least I know I need to find it again).

A list of everything I adore about my amazing BEST FRIEND Mandy:

- She is really good looking. Ugly people put me in a bad mood sometimes, but her sexy cheekbones and abs make my day.
- She tries to make me save my money instead of spending it on silly things like lingerie. It is very cute to watch her feeble attempts to make me less shopaholicy.
- Mandy always agrees with me when I'm mad at the Jew. So if I hate him, she hates him too, but most of the time I luuuuurve him so she luuuuurves him too.
- But she did call him defective Wal-Mart merchandise, which was really funny.
- Whenever I'm REALLY upset, she always makes sure to do something very ditzy to make me laugh forever. She has said, "Whrrr....chop, chop, chop!" and broken a laundry rack (after making it fall down the stairs) just for me.
- I can talk about...my 'sexy' encounters and she doesn't get gross or judgemental.
- Mandy always wants action.
- She is a super librarian. She can shelf read like nobody's business. Hell, she did the CDs forever. That's amazing. She can also carry many books at a time and agrees with me on shelving methods.
- She isn't afraid of me.
- Mandy used to come to fencing tournaments and cheer me on, even though she didn't know what was happening.
- She makes good iced tea.
- And there is always some in her fridge.
- She gives me gum and only charges me a hug. Those machines at the mall and at the entrance to Safeway charge me twenty-five cents per piece.
- When I'm being REALLY stupid, she tries to give me the 'look' but winds up laughing at me, because I am a crazy, overly medicated girl.
- She takes photos. And is REALLY good looking in photos, too. I'm sort of jealous of her for that.
- I'm REALLY jealous of how together she is, because she is always on top of things.
- When I'm being too dramatic about things, she lets me know in her own little way and then everything feels a lot better, even though I feel a bit stupid for being such a drama queen. Again.

HOWEVER. She needs to learn the following things:

- That designer clothing is fundamental to life.
- That it is okay to fake sick, take a day off work and spend the day crying in bed.
- That skate shoes went out with the Spice Girls.

Here are more things I love about Miss Mandy:

- She tells me not to cry when somebody (usually a boy) upsets me. It never works, but then I know that I can always count on somebody to look out for my pride and to make sure I don't let silly things like guys get me down.
- When I think about her, I feel special because nobody else has such a great friend, so it makes me think that everyone else is a sucker and that I kick ass.
- Sometimes when I am down (because my Prozac dose isn't quite right), I can always think of my Mandy, who loves me dearly. Then I get happy again. Seriously. It is like a bloody Christmas special. WARM AND FUZZY. Bite me.
- I just want to jump around and scream about how happy it makes me that I have somebody who is practically my sister. I mean, I have a sister, but she makes me mad, not goofily happy.
- When I sleepover with her, we cuddle a bit and it is the warmest feeling in the world. Warmer than my dad's Arctic conditions coat and snow pants. Warmer than cuddling in front of a heat vent.
- Even though I said this above already, it makes me feel super cool to know that barely anybody in the whole wide world is lucky enough to have an amazing best friend who loves you no matter what you do.
- She has a letter fetish.
- Also, she reads all of those paperback romance novels, and someday I think they will turn her into Samantha from Sex and the City.
- Mandy kills all her fish. It is pretty entertaining.
- I like looking at Mandy and imagining what she's going to be when she's older. She'll be SO AMAZING because she's smart and gorgeous and everything else that a person needs to just be fanbloodytastic. Looking at her is like looking at a Chanel dress and thinking about where you'll wear it.
- Mandy is fearless. She throws herself off various bits of metal and wood with her feet strapped to an oval shaped orb and isn't afraid. Me? No way.
- Her bruises always look hot.
- Including her hickies.
- Mandy is like a backup disk for me. So if I ever lose sight of myself and who I am, she will be right there to put all of that information back into my hard drive.
- Mandy doesn't need a backup disk.
- But she lets me be her backup disk.
- She inspires me to stay up until 1:30 in the morning writing a list about how much I love her.